Gannet Woodstock, Unexpected Orcas, Public Bogs, Vikings, Puffins, the Most Northerly, one final Broch and a Spaceport. Featuring various isles: St. Ninian’s, Noss, Bressay, Unst & Yell. And a bit about Leith.

In the category of better late than never, it is time, at last, for a wrapping up of the final days of this trip. Thanks for coming along with me while I was there and now in fond remembrance. This will be a longish one, but hey it’s mostly pictures.

And so onward we go. The highlight of our next day was to be a wildlife boat trip around two nearby islands, Noss and Bressay. On our way to catch our boat we stopped at Lunna House, a 17th century Laird’s home that was requisitioned by the UK War office as the first location for Shetland Bus HQ during World War II.

Lunna House

Operations were moved to Scalloway in 1942 (see previous entry), but this is where it all started. As often happened, the stones for the original Lunna House were pilfered from a nearby Iron Age Broch which is one of the reasons why so many broch ruins around the isles are quite a bit shorter than they might otherwise be. Lunna House base was established by David Howarth, who started his career as a BBC War Correspondent before joining the Navy after France fell to the Nazis. His memoir, “The Shetland Bus,” is a gripping account of his extraordinary life. A commemorative plaque for David Howarth can be found in the nearby cemetery of Lunna Kirk (the oldest continuously operated kirk in Shetland), but his ashes were scattered in Lunna Voe per his request.

Lunna Kirk
Richard, Jill, Barb and Brent peruse David Howarth’s memorial plaque.

Many of the moss-capped headstones in the kirkyard have been tagged by authorities as having “failed a regulatory test” to the point where visitors are warned against even approaching them because I guess they might slooowly tip over? This strikes me as somewhat hilarious after navigating the Mousa broch steps yesterday. The headstones look pretty solid to me and this one’s hairdo brings to mind four particular lads from Liverpool.

And that’s all the history you are getting for this day. I know you are sad! Wipe your tears away, for we are off to sail around the isles of Noss, an uninhabited nature reserve since 1955, and Bressay. The tides have been sketchy of late which we are told may force an early return to port so fingers crossed. The highlight of the tour is a ginormous gannet colony on Noss, where approximately 150,000 of the gorgeous, graceful seabirds nest along a mile-long stretch of cliffs. I feel a slight kinship with gannets because their 6 foot wingspan matches my own.

Mr. Nonchalance, our skipper Captain Phil

Phil Harris is the owner of Shetland Seabird Tours and is a life-long birder and naturalist. He started his career as a firefighter and then trained to pilot fast rescue boats in the rough seas around Shetland, so we were in expert hands in many categories. Plus he had a great sense of humor, regaling us on the dock with cheerful warnings about how seasick we were all likely about to become.

One of the many benefits of traveling alone is that you can validly call shotgun in situations like these and nobody gets mad, so just like that I was Captain Phil’s Number One.

The very first thing that happened when we entered the bay was Phil completely losing his mind and grabbing his big-ass camera because we unexpectedly came across a family pod of orcas. The first orca we saw was a big male, who was bearing down on us with his giant fin piercing the water like freaking Jaws. I had recently seen David Attenborough’s Wild Isles featuring the famous Shetland Pod 27 and watched them brutally murder a baby seal in slow-motion. Circle of life and all but still it was a bit concerning watching the big guy heading straight for us, especially having heard about the orcas that had recently attacked boats near the Iberian peninsula.

Of course the big orca peeled off and Phil, in between snapping photos, reported the sighting in local WhatsApp and Facebook groups. Orca tracking in Shetland is a collegial community effort (as you can imagine, a lot of naturalists live here), and in fact orca-spotting groups were instrumental in assisting the Wild Isles crew in finding Pod 27 after a two-year effort. The community shares sightings and helps build a pool of information so scientists can gain a fuller picture of orcas’ behavior and track their movements. As it turned out, this pod was a new one, heretofore not observed in Shetland, which felt like a bit of good news.

Reluctantly leaving the orcas (who hung around the area for the rest of the day) we sailed around some fabulous cliffs, the Bressay Lighthouse and watched a great skua (called a “bonxie” in Shetland-ese) fend off a gannet for a fish.

Speaking of bonxies, Phil calls them the assholes of the seabird kingdom due to their general aggression toward other birds. Also if you are dumb enough to walk too near their nest they will absolutely fly at your head. Phil also claimed that they poke the eyes out of puffins but I feel like this was merely a gruesome embellishment. They are kind of cool birds and right now Bonxie is the lead contender for my next dog’s name, so.

And now for the gannet colony. I’ve honestly never seen anything like it. I mean, 150,000 birds is a lot and they layer the cliff walls, packed in like sardines and yacking at each other having a ball like they are at an outdoor music festival. They are also gorgeous and incredible divers. And once they are submerged underwater, they keep flying while they fish. For a short video narrated by Scottish Obi-Wan Ewan McGregor, check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXXuK9eQVUw&t=9s

Below is one of those “wait for it” videos. If you are creeped out by slo-mo Exorcist talking, this is your trigger warning.

In and amongst the gannet colony were guillemots, members of the auk family, just like puffins. They are literally descendants of the Great Auk from days of yore. The birds nest in colonies to protect their eggs, which they lay directly on the ground, or in this case on top of cliff ledges. The eggs are shaped like pears and so roll in an arc, presumably to keep them from tumbling into the sea.

Guillemots!
Phil and his demonstration guillemot egg.
Captain Phil’s lecture about the spa-going habits of female guillemots.

As we continued sailing along the cliffs next to the gannet colony I managed a few awesome photos if I do say so, and have no idea how. Here are just a few.

Gannet Woodstock

They flew alongside the boat as we pulled away from the cliffs to round the tip of Noss and head back to Lerwick.

Sound on to experience full gannet exuberance.

I mean what a flipping awesome experience. It even remained fantastic through that one moment when, as I was facing backwards on rough seas taking photos of gannets flying overhead I suddenly realized I was seasick, sat my butt down and grimly faced forward. It passed.

As if we hadn’t seen enough magical wildlife, once we returned to the harbor we were greeted by a friendly and inquisitive seal. I think Phil called him “Freddie,” so he’s likely a regular.

When we parked (is that the right word, I’m not a boat person) at the dock Phil climbed out, tied us off and instructed me to turn off the boat for which I received a round of applause. Aye aye, Captain.

And the day wasn’t even over! We drove west to Scalloway and walked to a lighthouse on a grassy point, passing sheepies and ponies and marveling at the light.

Let’s take a moment, shall we, to appreciate the product-free coiffures of the Shetland pony.

Lighthouse on Point of the Pund

And lest you thought you were going to slip through a single solitary day without a sheepie photo, well that is obviously silly.

Next morning we were off for a walk around the perimeter of St. Ninian’s Isle, a small island connected to the south Mainland via the largest tombolo in the UK. It’s completely exposed all summer but generally submerged in winter. I can’t explain why, but it was fun to traverse.

St. Ninian is the patron saint of Shetland. While as usual, Neolithic artifacts have been found on the island, there’s also a ruin of a lovely 12th century chapel named after the saint. In 1958 an excavation on the chapel grounds found a horde of 8th century silver in a wooden box under a stone slab. Eighth century you say? Horde, you say? We know what this means – Vikings! The horde was possibly hidden from the Vikings or by the Vikings after being stolen, who knows. A local schoolboy, Douglas Coutts, who was assisting the grown-up archaeologists from Aberdeen University, made the find on his first day of being a helper. Apparently he wanted to lift up the stone slab to see what was underneath, possibly to find bugs, but the grown-ups ignored him. He did it anyway. You can see the horde at the National Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh. It’s considered to be the best example of surviving silver metalwork from Scotland’s early medieval period, and the pieces are quite intricate and beautiful. Here’s a little video if you’d like to learn more: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqw7cwYbWzo&list=TLGGrdK6ZEugXgIwNjA3MjAyNA&t=250s

St. Ninian’s Chapel ruins

Our merry band set off around the island, taking in beautiful cliffs, a few swimming puffins, a stile or two, and stopping for lunch along the way with views across the sea.

Blurry swimming puffins!
Back over the tombolo.

Kirsty told us she had been talking to a guy and he recommended a remote cliff walk, saying it was his favorite on the island. So we went off-book and drove down deserted roads with Kirsty periodically pulling over and consulting her phone to make sure we were on the right track. At one point she blew her cover about our off-the-grid situation by saying, with a wee bit of relief in her voice, “Oh, there we are.”

We drove through Silwick, a pretty much deserted settlement, and parked in front of a gate, girding our loins to face the only dangerous animal that inhabits Shetland.

Luckily, this was our only animal encounter on the walk.

We walked up a hill and were greeted by some of the most spectacular views we had seen to date. Our rogue excursion was a smashing success. Kirsty plans to recommend that this walk be added to the official WS itinerary for future trips.

The next day was a momentous one because I was finally able to bust out my new raincoat for the first time this entire trip. And the weather was misty and moody at last! Also, yay, ferries! We took an early ferry to Yell and drove across that island to another ferry terminal to catch a ferry to another island, Unst. We stopped on Yell briefly to view a very, very rare Scottish puddle duck.

Another cool attraction on Yell is the Windhouse (pronounced “windhoose”), a derelict home perched atop a hill along the main road. It was built in 1707 and remodeled in 1885 with all the latest appliances. Silhouetted against the skyline, the creepy looming ruin can be seen for miles around. It has been deemed by experts to be the most haunted house in Shetland if not the entire British Isles. It’s built near the ruins of a broch and bodies are literally buried in the garden. As for ghosts, there’s a Lady in Silk – thought to be the skeleton of a woman with a broken neck who was discovered under the floorboards at the bottom of the staircase (!!), a dapper man in a top hat, a creepy child and a black dog probably named Sirius. There’s also a rumor that nobody can survive a sleepover on Christmas Eve night. The story is that in olden times a shipwrecked mariner turned up at Windhouse on December 24. He crossed paths with the home’s inhabitants getting the heck out. They explained that noone had ever been found alive on Christmas morning after spending the night because they were slain by an unidentified entity. The mariner decided to stay anyway, because this is a horror movie, and in the night he was startled awake by some kind of monster from the sea. He promptly dispatched said creature with an axe and buried it nearby. Sadly we don’t have a description, the body has not been found and it’s unclear whether the mariner’s actions reversed the curse.

I wish we had been able to stop and wander around the ruin, but we had a ferry to catch and they wait for no one.

Upon arrival on Unst, the northernmost of the inhabited British Isles, we stopped briefly at Bobby’s Bus Shelter. It’s named after local boy Bobby McCauley. Bobby, who took the bus to school every day, grew weary of the often long, cold and wet waits every morning at the bus stop. He wrote a letter of complaint to the local newspaper requesting that a shelter be built.

What Bobby wants, Bobby gets. The shelter was duly built and, soon after, a sofa appeared, followed by a table, a microwave, a carpet and other comforts of home. Before long, the humble bus shelter was a warm and welcoming place with its own visitors’ book. Now it is one of the most photographed attractions on Unst.

This brilliant shelter is decorated with a different and imaginative theme every year. Some examples: the Queen’s Jubilee, outer space, women’s suffrage, the colour yellow and an underwater theme.

Bobby recently earned his PhD at the University of Glasgow, so the bus shelter served him well.

And now a rather violent segue from sweet bus shelters to Vikings, as Unst is one of the richest Viking heritage sites in Europe, with over 60 longhouses uncovered by archeologists so far. At 61 degrees north, the island was the perfect resting spot for Norse travelers on the trading route between Scandinavia, Greenland and Newfoundland. Many settled in this northerly outpost, working the land and making it their home.

We stopped by the Skidbladner, a model Viking longship perched next to a longhouse replica just off the highway. After seeing all the longhouse ruins on this trip it was fun to see what they might have actually been like. Walking around the deck of the longship brought home how incredible, dangerous and possibly deeply irresponsible it was for the Vikings to set off in wooden ships and sail them westward into completely unknown northern waters. With no GPS, no motor and no idea the world was round they relied solely on a sense of adventure and perhaps too much testosterone. Since they managed to run into the UK, Iceland and further afield as far as Canada (at least), the gods were obviously in their favor.

Boarding the longship

Our walk for the day was through Hermaness Nature Reserve to visit Unst’s northernmost point, which is also the furthest north you can go in Britain. From there we hoped to see the lighthouse on uninhabited Muckle Flugga, which is basically a rock in the sea and a wee bit further north.

Moody and misty Scotland, my favorite.
It was super boggy for the first mile or so but this wonderful boardwalk keeps walkers on the path with dry feet and protects the plentiful birdlife.

When we ascended to the clifftops, we were rewarded by a single puffin, featured at the beginning of this entry and below. It was thrilling.

Our scenic lunch spot.
This sweet little baby sheepie perched on his mom’s back was totes adorbs.
Another bonxie!
The mist grew ever more pervasive as we walked, diminishing our chances of seeing the lighthouse.
The furthest north I’ve ever been, with Muckle Flugga in the mist behind me.
The lighthouse on a mist-free day.

After the hike we intended to visit a teahouse, but overshot it and accidentally happened upon the Saxavord Spaceport, which was awesome. It is a former RAF base on a remote peninsula of Unst which has become the UK’s first licensed spaceport for vertical rocket launches. It will allow up to 30 satellites and other payloads to be launched into commercially valuable polar, sun-synchronous orbits (not taking any questions on that), which are in high demand from satellite operators for communications and Earth observation.

And, best of all, because this is Scotland, even serious rocket launchers have a sense of humor.

How awesome is this, I mean really.

We found our way back to the route and headed to the teahouse. Almost every Unst business, it seems, advertises itself as being the “most northerly.” We even passed by the Most Northerly Kirk. Likewise, Victoria’s Vintage Tea Shop was advertised as the most northerly. And it served the most northerly, and delicious, scones.

And so, my dudes, we at last find ourselves on our final day in Shetland. We spent our morning on a lovely walk near Eshaness. But first, a note about Shetland’s plentiful public toilets, or “bogs.” There are so many of them and they are all plumbed, well-cared for, and have plenty of parking. As remote as Shetland is, one never has to worry about drinking too much coffee in the morning. Some are quite creatively decorated with special bog poetry framed on the walls.

Our walk started at Eshaness Lighthouse, the spot I had visited earlier with Drew. We meandered along the volcanic clifftops, navigating lots of stiles (I love stiles) and reveling in the plentiful wildflowers.

We came across a storm beach composed largely of giant boulders which had been tossed onshore by violent wind and waves over the years. Hard to imagine on this lovely calm day.

The trail then let us to the Holes of Scraada, a collapsed sea cave, apparently Britain’s largest.

We next walked by the remains of an old water mill and then happened upon the Eshaness Broch, where we had our lunch.

After our last lovely walk, we boarded the van and drove back to Lerwick, where Kirsty dropped folks off at the Shetland Museum and I had to bid a very fond farewell to my intrepid compatriots before heading to Sumburgh Airport for my flight to Edinburgh.

Sadly but fondly bidding farewell to my fellow travelers.
One last and lovely photo of Shetland, courtesy of Jill.
My flight back to Edinburgh on LoganAir – clearly will never get over the plaid headrest situation. It is everything.

On my last two nights in Scotland I had decided to stay in Leith, a few tram stops and couple of miles north of Edinburgh. It used to be the gritty, druggy dock area of town (see “Trainspotting”) but it has undergone a massive redevelopment and is now known for its vibrant arts and culture scene, cool neighborhoods and a plethora of fabulous restaurants, coffee houses and bars. Edinburgh has five Michelin-starred restaurants and three of them are in Leith, and in fact Leith now has the highest concentration of said restaurants per square meter outside of London. (For the record I have had fabulous meals in two out of the three, Tom Kitchin’s last year, Heron this year and Martin Wishart still to come.)

Leith is the home of the Royal Yacht Brittanica, and in honor of her being nearby I booked a room at Ocean Mist Leith, a boat with a singular history. It was built in 1919 as a minesweeper but a year later was sold to Kenelm Guinness (yes that family), a race car driver, inventor and playboy, the kinds of “occupations” men of his circumstances had the freedom to choose back in the day. I mean who wouldn’t choose to be an inventor if having an income didn’t matter? Kenelm converted the boat to a “gentleman’s pleasure yacht,” which – er, whatever.

Abysmal haircut, a mustache is never a good idea, and yikes “bvb” alert. (before vital braces)

The boat next changed ownership through a series of Dukes, Sirs and MPs until it was requisitioned by the admiralty during World War II, finally fulfilling its original purpose as a torpedo recovery vessel. Then it changed hands through several businessmen, including one who ran whisky from Scotland to California during Prohibition. It docked in Leith in 1983 and became various nightclubs and restaurants before falling into disrepair. The current owners took it down to its bones for a complete, and gorgeous, renovation.

The hotel is extremely, extremely cool and somehow I was given the room at the bow of the boat that served as Captain Kenelm’s quarters.

Since the room is at the bow of the ship, the floor slopes sharply upward to the windows.
If you don’t want to be disturbed you must put this creepy weighted lion outside your door.

And my dudes, I had my own deck and I must say I was quite, quite fancy during my stay. Here I am enjoying a Guinness on my deck just because.

To you, Kenelm. I hope you invented something.

The following morning before heading to the airport I walked around town, grabbed a coffee and snapped a few last photos.

And at last we find ourselves at the end of this trip. So much gratitude to all of you for coming along with me, and for all your kind comments.

I’ll leave you with this sign inside a Leith coffee house called Toast, which is very – Scotland.

OK and maybe also some blooming azaleas from the Royal Botanical Gardens in Edinburgh.

At the risk of this blog ending like Lord of the Rings, just one more, a farewell poppy from the gardens of Busta House.

Until next time, safe travels, happy landings and all my good wishes.

Walking Across Shetland with Wilderness Scotland

While I do wish I were still in Scotland, I’ve been back stateside for a couple of weeks enjoying a minor, but dumb virus I caught on the flight home (people were hacking up lungs all around me – could I have put on a mask? Why yes I could have.) Being a completist, it’s my pleasure to welcome you to the final blog posts of this trip in which I join some boon companions for a lovely guided walking tour around the Isles. To give you an overall sense of how it all went, at the end of each day, our Kiwi compatriot Barb announced, ‘This was the BEST day.”

I met my fellow voyagers at the Holmsgarth Ferry Terminal in Lerwick where they had just disembarked from the overnight ferry from Aberdeen. We were an intrepid troupe of seven, a couple from New Zealand, a couple from the Scottish Borders who had moved from Wales in solidarity with the Scots’ (futile) vote against Brexit, and a couple from Boston. Our guide was a fabulous woman named Kirsty, who lives in Aviemore and has guided for Wilderness Scotland for years.

Kirsty’s brilliant personality pretty much captured here.

Our break-in walk was the Hams Circular on Muckle Roe, and just a warning, town names on Shetland are generally delightful. Just a taste – Brettabister, Bridge End, Dale of Walls, East Hogaland, Fladdabister, Funzie, Heglibister, Oddsta, Skarpigarth, Southpunds, Stebbligrind, Wadbister, Virkie and, weirdly, Ireland, and everyone’s favorite, Twatt.

The suffix “bister” is Old Norse for dwelling or farm.

We walked across active peatlands to cliffs overlooking the sea, passing croft ruins, wildflowers, sheep and seabirds along the way. And of course a pony because Shetland.

A male eider. The drab brown female is in the water to his left.
A coquettish fulmar
Kirsty and my delightful English couple, Richard and Jill. Jill hated getting her photo taken with a passion of a thousand suns but on day one she made an effort to be polite.
Shetland’s coastline is a festival of picturesque cliffs and rock formations.
Fulmar drama
In Shetland they paint numbers on their sheepies instead of using dollops of paint. Here is sheepie number 51.
I cannot with the pink ears.
Mom looks more like a blue-assed boar.
Barb and I were partners in excessive sheep photography
This is the last sheepie photo I shall subject you to. For the day.

After our lovely walk, we checked into our lodgings for the week, the Busta House Hotel in Brae, which was loaded with personality. The earliest part of the house was built in 1588 by John Gifford, a minister. In the 1950s the house was purchased by a member of parliament, and he was able to rescue, and install around the garden, gargoyles from the House of Commons which were being discarded during renovation work to repair wartime bombing damage. The Queen stopped by for tea in 1960, parking the Royal Yacht Britannia at the dock behind the hotel. A ghost named Barbara haunts the place, but honestly the backstory is too long and overly complicated and not that compelling.

Bluebells alongside one of the House of Commons gargoyles
The Long Room, where the Queen had tea and we met before dinner every evening.
The whisky cabinet.

A brief word about my companions for the week. The Kiwis, Barb and Brent, spent some time in the Bay Area but now are back in New Zealand. Barb was very talkative and a funny storyteller always there with a little quip. Brent was the silent and reserved type but had a twinkle in his eye. When called into service he could be as funny as Barb with a finely honed sense of comic timing. Barb was a retired teacher and Brent had the foresight to be writing code for Apple around the time the first iPhone was released. I didn’t work this out until halfway through the trip, at which point, under the relentless pressure of my questioning, Brent finally shared that some of the code he wrote is in all of our phones and its job is to move photos around. Of course me: “Did you know Jobs?” Brent: “I held the door open for him once.” Pause. “He said thanks.” Barb said the best thing about being an Apple spouse in those days was the parties, the worst was the secrecy. She wasn’t allowed to visit Brent in his office or even raid the kitchen of its free food, much to her dismay.

The best bit of New Zealand slang I learned from them was “long drop,” a much more descriptive way to refer to an outhouse.

Barb and Brent

The Brits, Richard and Jill, were also a well-oiled comedy duo. Richard is a retired solicitor. They were both quite lovely and talkative and had worked out a conversational style over the many years of their marriage whereby Richard would carry the main points of a story while Jill would serve as the chorus, speaking over Richard, sotto voce, somehow not interruptive but rather additive. Color commentary as it were, delivered often with her head tilted back and a hand brushing back a strand of hair. It made me laugh every single time.

Richard and Jill

The Boston couple were dealing with a sad health situation. Bob, another retired lawyer, was suffering some neurological issues affecting his balance and cognition and his wife, a stoic woman of sturdy New England stock, was doing her best. He did not often join us and she split her time between staying with him and coming along on our walks. They seemed to enjoy themselves even with everything and the Wilderness Scotland folks arranged other activities for them.

Everyone was aligned politically which added a lot of freewheeling spice to our conversations.

The following day we visited Jarlshof, the best-known prehistoric archaeological site in Shetland, walked up to the Sumburgh Head Lighthouse in search of puffins and continued on up and over a hill behind the airport. What? I know, it’s so crazy, but there are ancient ruins in two separate locations a mere stone’s throw from the airport. The past and the present live in close quarters on an island with 5,000+ years of human history.

Jarlshof contains ruins dating from 2500 BC up to the 17th century and is sort of a microcosm of Shetland history. It means “Earl’s Mansion” which was coined by, who else, Sir Walter Scott who visited the site in 1814 and based it on the Scottish period name of “the laird’s house.” Similar to the discovery of Skara Brae in Orkney (see previous blog entry), the remains were discovered after a storm washed away part of the shore. Formal archaeological excavation began in 1925 and discoveries included a Bronze Age smithy, an Iron Age bothy and roundhouses, a complex of Pictish wheelhouses, a Viking longhouse and a medieval farmhouse, each visible in turn as you ascend the small hill, one age atop the next like a time machine layer cake.

Bronze Age ruins below a 17th century stone house.
A Pictish Wheelhouse
Viking Longhouse
Longhouse ruins below the farmhouse
On top of the farmhouse with Sumburgh lighthouse a tiny dot in the distance

We walked from Jarlshof up to Sumburgh Head Lighthouse, another of many of Shetland’s nesting grounds for numerous species, including ….. puffins!!!

Fulmars not puffins.
Ditto.
Sumburgh Lighthouse

We saw loads of puffins floating in the ocean in groups, and flying around the cliffs. They fly like you would imagine, a bit off-kilter, comical and flappy. Puffin wings are on the small side, so for them to stay aloft their flappers must be deployed at the rate of 400 beats per minute. This is not an impediment by any means, as puffins can fly up to 55 miles per hour and can dive to depths of 200 feet in search of fish. They spend two thirds of their year out at sea, coming back to the same burrow every year, where they lay exactly one egg. While they mate for life, they enjoy long-distance relationships, heading out to sea on their own and reuniting yearly to mate and raise their puffling. And while they are away they lose their bright beaks and the black markings around their eyes, which would render them rather difficult to identify. Interestingly, researchers know very little about their lives at sea so who knows what they are up to.

Now, I don’t know how many of you follow puffin-related instagram accounts, but if you do, you are treated to amazing close-up pictures of these adorable guys doing adorable things. Well – that’s because the photographers have ginormous cameras and are very very patient.

Looking through binocs for puffins, giant camera at the ready

But we did spot one of the little dudes just below the lighthouse, chilling in the opening of its burrow.

We walked on, continuing our loop around the point. Here are a few shots from our walk above the airport.

Above is one of Sunburgh’s runways. The A970, the only road to the airport, literally crosses over the bottom of the main runway. There are gates that go up and down when a plane needs the right of way. As you drive your car across, a sign warns “Positively No Stopping” and “Straight Ahead” is painted on the pavement.

Looking back toward the lighthouse

The following day we were to climb Ronas Hill, the highest point of Shetland, and then take a boat in the middle of the night out to Mousa to visit an Iron Age broch and watch kestrels come home to roost, arriving back at the hotel at 2:00 am. We were all game, even though none of us had stayed up that late in decades.

The Three Sisters of Glencoe, a Fairy Bridge and a Haunted Pub

I spent today, my last in Glencoe, with the Three Sisters. As it came to a close, I left the glen and drove to Appin to find a fairy bridge and have dinner at a haunted pub on the shores of Loch Linnie with a castle view. These are the kinds of activities you can throw together in Scotland.

We have Three Sisters in the Central Oregon Cascades known as South, Middle and North – not the most original but people were probably tired from crossing the Oregon Trail and not feeling particularly creative. In Glencoe the sisters are known as Beinn Fhada (long hill), Gearr Aonach (short ridge) and Aonach Dubh (black ridge), all a part of a ridge known as Bidean Nam Bian, meaning “peak of the mountains.” Also more descriptive than creative but the Gaelic adds zhuzh.

Morning commenced with a hike called The Lost Valley, or Coire Gabhail (pronounced “corry gale”), located between the easternmost sister and the middle one. The valley was not lost but a secret, and hard to access. It was used by the MacDonalds as a hiding place for rustled cattle (the family business) and it served as a refuge for those who escaped being murdered during the 1692 Massacre of Glen Coe. Although not really a refuge, as it turned out, since more folks froze to death after escaping than were killed by members of the Campbell Clan, aka rudest guests ever. Ah, but you know all about the Massacre because you read my previous blog and memorized all the facts.

The hike featured some challenging moments and the idea of urging a herd of cattle up this canyon seems completely insane but back in the day maybe cows were tougher. And fleeing up into the canyon in the snow and dead of night with no light source sounds even more impossible.

While relatively short, the hike is a gnarly enough to merit installed hiking accessories along the trail which is not much of a thing in Scotland. There are steep metal steps, handrails, and metal cables drilled into rock next to a sheer slope so you can pull yourself up. Another bit of perilous business leaves you to your own devices as there was simply nothing for it. It’s a section of smooth, steep rock with a fun drop off down one side. Walkhighlands says, “the scrambling is pretty straightforward but some may find the situation airy.” Meaning too much air and not enough rock I guess? To make matters more exciting, the rock has been polished to a high sheen due to years and years of rear-end polishing thanks to all the butts that have slid down it. If you find yourself in Glencoe, do not attempt this hike if it’s been raining. This would be my advice.

And goodness gracious me it was beautiful.

The Lost Valley itself was like a moonscape. Much larger than I expected, it could hold a fair few cattle. And by that I mean easily hundreds.

The descent was easier even with my knees not being fully stoked. And there is often a piper in that particular parking lot, as there was this day, and so my return was scored with a triumphant soundtrack. That’s right, I thought. I did it and now the pipes are playing me home.

By the way, McRaggie plays entrance music whenever I open the car door. More orchestral than bagpipes. It makes me smile every single time. And I play the NYTimes mini-crossword for the little jazzy piano tune it plays when you complete it. Maybe I should speak to a therapist about this.

Buoyed by not dying, I thought another walk was totally reasonable and so stopped for a quick ramble to visit Ralston’s Cairn. And admittedly I never would have known it existed without Instagram. Ralston Claud Muir was a train driver on the West Highland Line and loved to hike in the hills of Glencoe. He sadly died unexpectedly at 32 and his friends and family erected a wee cairn and spread his ashes there. It’s a gorgeous spot, off the trail and a little hard to find, which he probably would have appreciated. I suspect other ashes have been surreptitiously added over the last twenty plus years.

The cairn walk is a festival of Three Sisters views.
The trail is along the old military road that runs through Glencoe.
I feel this sentiment.

I planned to head to nearby Appin for dinner, and had recently learned there was a lovely walk in the area. It’s in Glen Creran Forest and features a 500 year old bridge known more specifically as, of course, the Fairy Bridge.

The hike is at the end of a single track road along Loch Creran lined by fabulous old homes with brilliant landscaping, azaleas in full bloom. Saw lots of ladies out and about tending their gardens. And so many border collies.

Arriving at the small car park, no sooner had I turned off the ignition than I was unexpectedly accosted by a blonde Norwegian woman who told me with great certainty tinged with agitation that this was the wrong car park. “I’m sorry?” “Are you going to the Fairy Bridge?” “Yes.” “Well, this is the wrong car park. We followed navigation but there’s no cell service here. Do you have different navigation?”

Forgive me, but I had absolutely zero interest in suggesting we should walk together even though I had downloaded the map and didn’t need cell service and I’ll fight anyone who says Walkhighlands.com would ever lead you to the wrong car park.

Plus I had to pee, so.

“Well, I’m just going to go for a little walk anyway to stretch my legs I think,” I said, trying to make her go away. She wandered off and then reappeared before I could lace up my boots, and shared more late breaking news. “I went up there,” gesturing vaguely behind her, “and there’s a board, and there’s a way you can get to the Bridge from here but it’s a detour (thus implicitly sticking to her wrong car park theory) so I’m sure you’ll find it.”

Does she want me to ask her to come with? Or is she leaving? If I can find it, why can’t she? What is happening? I saw she had a dude in her car because one of his legs was sticking out of the door and she kept going back and consulting it. I’m imagining he was rolling his eyes at this whole Fairy Bridge ordeal that she coerced him into (I mean to be fair how many men would be like, yes please, let’s go see the Fairy Bridge). Also he was no doubt exhausted by the disproportionate drama that invades much of his life due to this woman of certitude.

When she wandered off again to consult the leg I seized my chance, vaulted out of the car and hauled ass up the steep trail.

The real revelation on that walk, though, was not the bridge but the bluebells. They completely blanketed both sides of the trail along the entire walk. I couldn’t quite capture their beauty. Some things are just better in real life.

Not easy to outdo the bluebells but the Fairy Bridge was relatively nifty. And for the record, it wasn’t part of a “detour” or whatever. Walkhighlands remains invincible.

Coincidentally, the BBC just ran a piece on the couple who created (in 2006) and continue to maintain that invaluable hiking resource, Helen and Paul. You might enjoy taking a peek: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c72py4xg2w4o

Helen and Paul, bless you.

I walked along the road for a bit on the way back to the car and tried to imagine what it must be like to live there…..and came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be a hardship.

I should also mention, as it ties in beautifully with a story you’re about to hear, that I came upon a signpost along the Fairy Bridge trail which referenced nearby Glen Ure and included quite a detailed history. Back in the 1700s Colin Campbell was the Laird of Glen Ure and you might jot that down as we rejoin our pal McRaggie in the parking lot and head to dinner at the Old Inn.

Appin, on the shores of Loch Linnie, is interestingly central – it’s 100 miles from Glasgow, Edinburgh and Inverness. The Old Inn, I had heard, is allegedly haunted by the ghost of a Highlander wrongly hanged for murder. Excellent. The pub was established in 1670, closed in 1880, and Jim Mulligan bought the property in 2016 and gamely undertook a $1.2 million restoration project. Jim believes he has identified the ghost. He thinks it’s James Stewart, known as “James of the Glen.” He was hanged for shooting Colin Campbell, “The Red Fox,” (honestly these monikers) in Appin in 1752.

The Old Inn

This is what happened. Campbell, a government agent, was shot in the back while collecting rents from members of the Stewart family whose estates had been forfeited to the British government due to the clan’s support of the 1745 Jacobite rising. Upon being shot James allegedly informed everyone, “Oh, I am dead,” or words to that effect, and his alarmed compatriots observed a shadowy figure running away into the hills. George II’s government was jittery after the ‘45 and thought these could have been the first shots fired in another rebellion and so London sent word to do whatever was necessary to handle the situation, preferably making an example of the perpetrator. Shut it the hell down, in other words.

Our future ghost James, the most powerful Stewart in the area, had led local opposition to the evictions. In other words, he was a perfect mark. And so he was arrested and charged with aiding and abetting the murderous act of his foster son, Allan Breck Stewart. (Sounds odd but sons of clan members commonly lived under the protection of the clan chief). Allan fought on the Jacobite side at Prestonpans and so was another obvious scapegoat, although he wisely fled to France and so was beyond the reach of government authorities. After a four day trial, with most of the jurors being (ahem) Campbells, the verdict was a foregone conclusion for our poor James.

He was hanged near Glencoe (wee reminder here that the Campbells were also the bad guys in the Glencoe massacre sixty years earlier) and, dear readers, avert your eyes. His body was left dangling from the gallows under guard for three years. Under guard. Lest you think your company piffles FTE on unnecessary tasks.

It was known locally that neither Allan nor James were involved in the murder. You can see why James, in particular, would be super pissed about the chain of events but it’s hard to imagine that he’d live out his ghostly days haunting a renovated pub in Appin. Getting his sweet, sweet revenge by bothering its staff.

Ah but our story doesn’t end there. Many stories about Scottish history that have seeped into popular imagination are due to either Walter Scott or Robert Louis Stevenson wandering through the past in search of material. They wrote accounts about historical incidents which launched these mostly forgotten and not widely known events into worldwide notoriety. They were, in essence, the 24 hour news cycle of the early 1800s and had much to do with romanticizing Highland culture.

In this case, a hundred years after the murder, Stevenson’s father found, in Inverness, a slim volume called Trial of Stewart. He thoughtfully purchased it for his son who was writing a book on the history of the Highlands (instead of designing and building all the lighthouses in Scotland, see previous blog entries about this family).

As a result of this gift, our man Allan Breck Stewart, even though he managed to escape history for a time, became the lead character in “Kidnapped,” Stevenson’s book that dramatized the Appin murder. Thus Allan, who played quite a minor role in the Appin murder, became immortalized a hundred years after his death.

Also, now I have to read Kidnapped.

So not to cast aspersions on our friend Jim the pub owner, but his sly assertion that the ghost of the Appin Inn is James of the Glen – because he drank in the pub (as did everyone) and because some evidence for the trial was presented in the Inn’s back room, is clearly more about publicity than reality. But I mean good for him, if a famous ghost gets him butts in seats, all to the good.

Speaking of reality, let me be clear that this does not mean the pub is ghost-free. Staff have been creeped out by rattling glasses, pans flying through the air and chairs falling over. Mysterious footsteps in an empty upstairs room and shadowy ghost figures have caused people who aren’t paid enough for this crap to turn out the lights and skedaddle. Most creepily a nonbelieving staffer, alone at night, said, “The fire suddenly went down and the glasses in the gantry started rattling. We had a St. Andrew’s flag up above the gantry and, when the glasses stopped, the flag started billowing. I looked round and a chair was on its side.”

Yikes.

The last thing you should know about the Old Inn at Appin is that the food is excellent – they specialize in locally sourced grass fed steaks, which I ordered. So, dear reader, I have my first (confirmed) experience of eating a Highland Coo. Don’t judge. I feel bad about it.

Early in the evening.
The ginger guy is the bartender.
The cool bar.
Flashback to my last trip – ahh the Hebrides.

The pub serves a DELICIOUS black pepper cream sauce to go with their steaks and chips. It’s a hefty portion served hot in a ramekin. I was contently dousing a bite of coo when something fell in with a splash. I stared, taking a second to clock that a dreaded yellow jacket had swan dived into my ramekin. I harbor quite a bit of hate in my heart for the aggressive meat-eating little dickheads, their families, and all they represent. I scooped it up into my spoon and flicked it onto the table where it staggered around drunkenly, coated in black-flecked white goo. My first thought, and I’m allergic to yellowjackets mind you, was that I need to have my cream sauce replaced as soon as possible. I waved down the waiter and explained – he nodded and whisked the ramekin away. Shortly thereafter the bartender brought me a new one filled to the brim and steaming hot. I dismissively gestured at the bee, still carving a drunken path around the table, he nodded, disappeared and came back with a paper towel. The bee found its footing and obligingly climbed onto it and he took it outside. He told me later he tried to wipe the peppercorn cream sauce off the bee but could not give me a solid prognosis as as to his recovery.

“He’ll probably be popular with the other bees,” I suggested, possibly batting my eyelashes. I mean seriously, my hero. An entire new ramekin of the best sauce in the world and a bee whisperer.

After basically drinking my weight in sauce, I wandered down to the Loch and snapped a few backlit photos of Castle Stalker. It’s privately owned but they do arrange tours and take people out there by boat during the summer.

And what is its history, you ask? We are at the end of our entry and possibly our tolerance for obscure Scottish history, so allow me to simply share the nutshell version. It was built in 1320 and many clans have passed through its halls since. There have been MacDougalls, Stewarts, King Bruce, the Lord of Lorn, a MacLaren, MacCouls, MacDonalds, Campbells, a dude called Donald of the Hammers, more than a few murders, battles, cattle rustling, a passage of title via a drunken wager and also a besiegement or two. It was occupied by government forces after Culloden and served as a local center for the surrender of weapons. The roof collapsed at one point and the owners didn’t bother repairing it because no roof meant no taxes. At last, in 1965, Lt. Colonel Stewart Allward purchased it from a Stewart and oversaw a ten-year restoration. It’s now fully habitable.

Castle Stalker. It’s larger than it looks.

The day’s adventures having at last come to a close, I headed back to Glencoe for one more night. It was such a beautiful evening I drove down Glen Etive and gave the Bookel a proper goodbye.

McRaggie and the Bookel.

May the Fourth Be With You

My Glencoe Welcoming Committee

I know it seems like only a few months have passed, which is accurate, and yet here we are again, thanks to the miracle of air travel.

Speaking of, even though you might be hoping to hear another tantalizing tale of a Swiss quantum computing seat-mate, alas you will have to be satisfied with an AirPods case. A friend and I recently agreed that the most crucial and nonnegotiable travel accessory, besides one’s passport, is a pair of noise-canceling AirPods. They are a matter of survival, even more so than fully bolted airplane doors. On my flight from Redmond to Seattle, after everyone boarded, the flight attendant addressed us all, holding an AirPods case aloft. It had been found in the boarding area, she tells us, so whose is it? As she regarded us expectantly, I joined my two seatmates, both pilots (also an excellent choice, Universe), in immediately double-checking to make sure we had our cases. Because the rule is, when someone says here’s a lost thing so who can’t keep track of their stuff, you immediately must assume that you are the culprit.

Our determined attendant announced the recovery of the case eleventy billion times and not a soul raised their hand. Finally a woman did, but ultimately this was a disappointment as she briefly looked at the case, considered it, and handed it back. Finally the attendant, like she was talking to a bunch of toddlers, waved the case in the air yet again and said in a sing-song voice, “Oh-kaaaay, I’m going to leave it here then,” and handed it to someone who took it off the plane.

One of my pilots said to the other, grinning, “let’s just GO” because at this point our flight was delayed. Over an AirPods case. There wouldn’t have been this much drama had someone had left a baby behind. THIS IS HOW VITAL THEY ARE.

Finally another woman raised her hand. The flight attendant quite understandably shrugged and said, “The airplane’s door is now closed,” and we all know come hell or high water, it will not be opening until Seattle.

But dear reader, the story didn’t end there. The flight attendant said one of the ground crew was going to try to throw the case up to the pilot who would try and catch it out of his side window.

I looked at my two pilots and asked, “Would you guys do this?” And they both nodded like “oh of course yeah,” being men I guess, and also HOW VITAL AIRPODS ARE.

Well, voila, the pilot caught the case and it was restored to the woman who cared so little that she couldn’t be bothered to check her things and decidedly broke the rule that you always have to assume it’s you.

A few hours later I wandered around the Seattle airport for hours in a daze after spending nearly $50 on lunch. Bought a lipstick from the Mac store that I don’t need. I know you feel me. I parked myself in the main terminal and glumly studied the floor. But then an official airport lady came up, handed me a little sticker and said, “May the Fourth Be With You.”

Suddenly my mood brightened considerably. May the 4th is also heavily celebrated in Scotland, as it turns out.

Did you all see Mark Hamill at the White House on this day of days? He visited the press room where 99% of the journalists were thrilled to be in the unexpected and thrilling presence of Luke Skywalker. And then the CBS White House reporter asked why Mark Hamill was there. The Press Secretary, the fabulous Karine Jean-Pierre, gave the sort of off-the-cuff answer you do when someone asks an odd question, at which point the reporter made the mistake of revealing she didn’t know Mark Hamill was in Star Wars and indeed had not seen the films. Our democracy is indeed doomed.

The long leg to London was fine, I was next to an older lady heading to Madrid whose voice was largely sub-audible which meant I could simply nod and smile most of the time. She also very sweetly asked if I minded if she tucked into her dinner “before it gets cold” before mine arrived. She scored hers early as it was a special gluten-free order. I mean really how beyond polite! I didn’t think that particular rule applied on airplanes, unlike the always-assume-it’s- you rule which applies everywhere.

A quick note to whine about the combat zone that is Heathrow when you are making a connection. Holy crap dear reader. You walk for miles even though your connecting flight is in the same terminal. It’s hot. It’s confusing. You have no idea what is happening. You just keep walking, passing through these checkpoints, following the purple “connecting flights” signs. Is this one of my recurring anxiety travel dreams? Am I still walking? Is this purgatory? Will I ever get out of here?

That’s nothing compared to the security screening. Listen, I know they don’t care that you are TSA pre-check or Global Entry or the Queen of Sheba. But don’t yell orders to a bunch of jet lagged people. Don’t aggressively challenge me on clothing categorization. “It’s a sweater.” “No it’s a coat, take it off, what you have on underneath is a sweater.” Then a guy walks over and tells me also to take off the sweater, which he categorized as a hoodie. I mean I legitimately could have had only a bra going on underneath. Also had to remove my boots. Put my phone inside a pocket of something that is in a bin. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BIN you have to push it onto the belt personally. You CANNOT take anything out of your bag while it’s in a bin. Am I being checked into a prison?

I guess I’m used to Amsterdam with the bland but efficient indifference. Or Charles de Gaul with the barely concealed condescension. All way better than yelling arbitrary bossiness even with an English accent.

It all worked out, I found my flight to Inverness. Pro-tip – to avoid the crazy way the Brits load planes, agree to gate-check your carry-on. By this point you are happy to be rid of it anyway. And they let you board first. Hahahaha first class people, byeeee.

And one final transportation thing. I finally decided to pull the trigger on renting a standard transmission car. Automatics are more rare in the UK and thus more expensive. I learned to drive using a stick on a VW Fastback. (Am old). I was dizzy with the control it offered! But – this being the UK, the shift is on the left, I’m jet-lagged, it’s been 30 years, driving on the left….was it all a bridge too far? As it turns out, no. Driving a stick is apparently hardwired. I only stalled my shiny Blue Captur (a sporty car made by Renault) once, after I had been on a highway and just forgot completely I was driving a stick. The car juddered to a halt and by the time I clocked what was happening – it took a minute – McRaggie had turned himself back on like a boss! If only that had been a thing when I learned to drive, my dad would have been much less irritated with me.

McRaggie you ask? My car’s name is Ragnar, Raggie for short, and his spirit inhabits every vehicle I drive. In Scotland he is known by a slightly different name.

And at last, Glencoe where I am staying for three nights at my usual spot, the Kingshouse, which is marvelous. Had a lovely dinner, a wee walk from the hotel up the West Highland Way and reveled in the glorious (aka not raining) weather. Yes indeed, happy to be back.

The following day I was finally able to complete a hike that I had started my last three trips. It’s a relatively level trail that runs down the glen between the two great ridges, the Buachaille Etive Mor and Etive Beag. It’s a magical path with a tantalizing notch in the hills ahead that seems to get further away the longer you walk toward it. I’ve always wanted to see what was there, but once all the streams you must cross along the way were in spate, and there simply wasn’t enough time the other two excursions. The trail is part of a nine-mile loop hike.

See how enticing? What is there, between them thar hills? (From 2022)

This miraculous day it hadn’t rained and there was all the time in the world. And it surpassed my imagination. At the end of the glen is a gorgeous cairn – and just beyond lies the neighboring valley of Glen Etive which is surprisingly far below like a doorway to freaking Narnia. I couldn’t believe it.

When Narnia is just there you don’t need a stinking wardrobe.

The loop hike takes you around the base of Buachaille Etive Beag and – I am happy to announce – it is done. At last.

After a quick visit to the Glencoe Visitor Center (best gift shop ever) and a meal at the Boots Bar at the Clachaig Inn as per usual, I drove to the Glencoe Ski Area specifically to see a wee white house known as Black Rock Cottage because of Scottish landscape photographers on Instagram. There’s another heavily photographed white house in Glencoe called the Lagangarbh Hut (see blog from May) and another infamous white house, not as photographed because it’s falling down and covered with graffiti, known as Allt-na-Reigh. The latter was sold to famous mountaineer Hamish MacInnes in 1961 for $1,000 and later bought by dreadful serial sex offender Jimmy Savile in 1998, although the The National newspaper said he was seldom there and “there is no evidence that any of his offending took place [there].” It is now owned by a global convenience store company (sigh) and, sidebar, they plan to knock it down and build a “modernist luxury villa” which was well and thoroughly protested but hashtag private property.

Anyway, back to Black Rock. It is owned by the Ladies’ Scottish Mountain Club which I must try to join if I ever move here. The bottom of the driveway is blocked with a bar (not the fun kind) and a woman was just leaving the house as I arrived. If you feel like staying in a place that people are photographing quite a lot, it’s available as a holiday let. It sounds a little rustic – if you want drinking water you need to get it from the shower as there’s no running water in the kitchen. One also must bring all of one’s linens although mattresses are thoughtfully provided.

All in all, a quite excellent first day.

Road to Nowhere, General Wade’s Military Roads (Damn Those Jacobites) and Rainbows

For ages I’ve wanted to drive down the so-called “Road to Nowhere,” a twelve mile single track road with crumbly edges which heads south off the A82, the scenic road traversing Glencoe west to Fort William, taking a hard right turn and heading east toward Inverness. (Scottish roads do not head in just one direction.) The RTN runs along Glen Etive, following the River Etive and perhaps not surprisingly comes to an abrupt end at Loch Etive.

Hollywood-wise, Glen Etive is probably most well-known for starring in Skyfall, the 2012 James Bond movie. Many scenes were shot here, although the fabulous lodge in the film is elsewhere if not entirely CGI.

Daniel Craig (incredibly well-tailored suit my man) and Dame Judi Dench (legendary goddess) taking in the view. This location is literally marked on Google Maps as “James Bond Skyfall Road” which has resulted in ten billion instagram photos of people in this spot and stance, and an unfortunate litter problem, at least for a while, according to The Guardian. Nappies, really people?

I hit the RTN early and so the glen, river and loch were mine all mine, except for my first red deer encounter of the trip and the inevitable professional photographer. He was setting up a tripod on the loch shore and settling in for the day due to Scotland’s constantly shifting light and weather conditions. (You could shoot a photo each minute and no two would look the same.)

Before we go, it would be an oversight not to mention that Loch Etive starred in its own film as one of the (many) spots Harry, Ron and Hermione camped in Deathly Hallows Part 1 while they were looking for horcruxes. This looking for horcruxes business went on for quite some time but luckily the scenery was amazing every time they disapparated because Scotland.

Since the rather relentless rain made a mincemeat out of my hiking plans due to rivers being in spate and conditions being too muddy and slippery for any sort of ascent, I decided to explore part way up a couple of iconic trails. Just to do a little recon.

One is the Devil’s Staircase, part of the West Highland Way and not as scary as it sounds. It’s an uphill jaunt up and over a ridge into Kinlochleven, a town in the neighboring glen.

Here it might be interesting to talk a little bit about a dude named General Wade and why he was directed by King George I to build about 250 miles of road and 40 bridges throughout the Highlands in the early eighteenth century. Of course, the answer is, why, the Jacobites of course. There were three risings before the ’45, and the English were forever trying to clamp down on that untidy situation and sought to figure out how best to deploy troops quickly in the event of the next inevitable uprising. The roads were meant to be 16 feet wide, although at many points they were narrower and were constructed of layers of progressively smaller stones covered with a layer of gravel. They connected military forts or barracks, including Fort William, Fort Augustus, Inverness and the Ruthven Barracks that we discussed earlier. The forts were often built or upgraded by Wade.

The roads were constructed by hundreds of soldiers, fondly dubbed “highwaymen” by Wade. They were beset by a plethora of obstacles – terrain, weather, Highlanders and midges.  This extremely tough duty necessitated many many drams and pints, and so camps were established every ten miles, known as “kingshouses” as they were along the king’s highway. The Kinghouse Hotel in Glencoe, my humble lodging, still retains this name.

Many of the bridges he constructed still exist today, including the Garva Bridge over the River Spey, Wade’s Bridge at Aberfeldy (which still carries traffic), Highbridge at Spean and Wade’s Bridge at Etteridge.

Wade’s Bridge at Aberfeldy – still in use after all these years.
General Wade himself. Honestly portraiture during this period didn’t do men any favors.

Irony being what it is, by the time the ’45 came around the roads probably served Jacobite troops better than government troops. That’s the impartiality of roads for you. Tragically, this final attempt was decisively crushed at Culloden and subsequent attempts to eliminate Highland culture . Afterwards, in addition to the roads helping the Hanoverians continue to exert control over Scotland, they also opened up routes for trade, travel and tourism. While miles of the military roads were abandoned over time, many were incorporated into the country’s civilian road network. It’s pretty remarkable that by and large General Wade’s military roads were the first major system built since the Romans.

As an aside, General Wade is the only person mentioned by name in an obscure verse of the British National Anthem and was also responsible for raising a Highland militia called the Highland Watches. The militia morphed into the Black Watch Regiment and this became the genesis of the British army’s crack highland regiments that continues today.

So the Devil’s Staircase was given its name by some of General Wade’s highwaymen who were charged with lugging stones and equipment up that hill path to turn it into a paved military road. Those who decided to stay for a dram at a pub in Kinlochleven and then stagger back over the ridge to Glencoe had a sketchy time of it apparently, more due to wobbly legs and impaired judgment rather than the path itself. And with the old saying about the devil coming to claim his own – the route was thusly named.

There you have it. And so we next cross the A82 to the start of another iconic Glencoe walk, the trail up the Buachaille Etive Mor. Before the ascent begins in earnest, you cross a bridge and stroll past the much-photographed “wee white house,” officially Lagangarbh Hut, now owned by the National Trust of Scotland. The trail runs close alongside the house and then stretches into the distance, aimed directly at the very same mountain I can see from my hotel balcony. My mountain, everyone’s mountain, that mountain. Another day perhaps. When it isn’t dumping buckets.

And so my last full day in Glencoe drew to a close. As excited as I was to embark on my Wilderness Scotland trip, I’m always sort of gutted to leave this place. And before I tell you the final thing – I will offer a preface admitting that there is literally almost always a rainbow situation happening in Scotland. And yet I still think it’s meaningful magic and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Last time I was here with my pal Trish, a rainbow opened up an archway for our exit. Also one of the things best friends do is take your photo while you are walking under a rainbow.

On this trip, as I was packing to leave, I glanced out my window to see this:

It does cushion the blow.

In Which We Meet the Hebridean Baker, Sample a New Whisky, Visit a Lighthouse, and Learn About Rocket Mail

I’ve been back from Scotland for way too long. Almost six weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I am fortunate to have great friends, a home I love and fulfilling work. I live in a beautiful mountainous place steeped in outdoor culture. Literally everyone is moving here (looking at you Californians). For the record, I’m extremely lucky. Even so, I feel the gentle pull of a Scottish tractor beam (sorry, reading Patrick Stewart’s delightful bio) and it feels sustaining, like a program running in the background. I’m returning in May but honestly this seems like an age away. And as it happens there’s a Scottish Gaelic word expressing this feeling exactly. There is no English translation.

The word is cianalas, something I’ve written about before. It is a deep-seated sense of belonging to the place where your roots lie, or where you feel profoundly at home. It’s a feeling that you are exactly where you need to be in the world, a feeling that runs right down to your toes and causes you to smile idiotically while hiking across a moor alone in the fog, wind and driving rain. It’s a place that dampens anxiety and worry and offers more zen than an hour of meditation. Cianalas is longing for the place you belong. At the (very high) risk of sounding impossibly cheesy and naive, there it is.

(Tonal shift warning for a brief PSA: to avoid annoying Scots, Gaelic is pronounced with a short “a” like “apple” – the perhaps more familiar pronunciation with a long “a” like “table” refers to Irish Gaelic – same roots, different language.)

So after that bit of schmaltzy waxing poetical, let’s rejoin our regularly scheduled programming and return to the Outer Hebrides, which is where the word cianalas actually originated. Our merry band of Wilderness Scotland travelers stayed at the lovely Harris Hotel in Tarbert. As Harris is the most mountainous area of the single landmass of Harris and Lewis, we planned to spend most of our hiking time there. Harris and Lewis combined are the largest island in Scotland with a population of about 21,000, and the important thing to remember is that most of them are MacLeods.

Our first day of walking featured more awesomely bad weather! We drove across a little bridge to another island southeast of Harris called Scalpay, and enjoyed a very rainy walk to Eilean Gas, one of the first four lighthouses to be built in Scotland. It looks back across the Minch toward Skye, so awesome views when it’s not all fogged in. It was built by Robert Stevenson in 1789 and became fully automated in 1978. Robert and his descendants designed and built basically all of Scotland’s lighthouses over a 150-year period. As we know, the black sheep of that family happened to be Robert Louis Stevenson, and our guide Liam shared how much he enjoyed imagining young Robert sitting off to one side, completely bored by all this tedious lighthouse whatever business, scribbling in a notebook and generally being a terrible disappointment to his family. Liam clearly saw RLS as a kindred spirit.

The grounds are pretty cool to wander about, with barracks and other associated buildings. If you happen to be there during high season, there’s even a coffee shop with views over the sea. I stared longingly through the windows at the espresso machine as a wee shot would have been just the thing on the cold wet day. “There’s an espresso machine in there, ” I told everyone, alas, to no avail.

Here’s a cool thing. We happened to be visiting on the 234th anniversary of the original lighting of the lamp.

Liam told a story that I haven’t been able to confirm and that he might have conflated with another tale of a different Hebridean lighthouse, and so I’m going to share both as they are equally creepily awesome. He explained that two families once lived at Eilean Glas and their job was to operate the lighthouse – it was very remote, no roads, and so the families had to be self-sustaining by growing their own food and so on. Apparently there were reports that the lamp hadn’t been lit for a few days, and so a crew was dispatched to investigate. They found food on the table and other signs of a sudden disappearance – and not a single family member remained, nor was anyone ever found. This got my mind spinning about writing a novel based on this unsolved mystery – I mean c’mon it’s basically an X-File and practically writes itself. So, when I got home, I did some googling.

The (rather well-known, actually) story I found involved the sudden disappearance of three men at the Eilean Mor lighthouse in the Flannen Islands about 32 miles west of Lewis. On December 26, 1900, a small ship arrived on shore, bringing a replacement lighthouse keeper, Joseph Moore. Strangely, nobody was at the landing platform to greet them, so Moore walked up the hill to the lighthouse. He noticed something was immediately sketchy as its door was unlocked and two of the three oilskin coats were missing from the entrance hall. In the kitchen Moore found half-eaten food and an overturned chair as if someone had jumped from their seat. And (whispers) the kitchen clock had stopped.

The men were never found, although there were some strange recent log entries. On December 12, Thomas Marshall, the second assistant, wrote of “severe winds the likes of which I have never seen before in twenty years.” Marshall also noted that James Ducat, the Principal Keeper, had been “very quiet” (serial killer alert!) and that the third assistant, William McArthur, a seasoned mariner and known as a “tough brawler,” had been crying. So maybe the quiet one lost his mind due to the alleged high winds and maybe the crying, killed the other two and tossed them into the ocean, and wandered off into the mist and over a cliff.

I say “alleged” because a later investigation by British authorities revealed that there were no reported storms in the area at that time. The weather was calm.

Maybe all three of them got drunk, went for a walk and took a pratfall into the sea at the same time, maybe it was a sea monster (amateur sleuths at the time really considered this), or it could have had something to do with the islands’ namesake St. Flannen. He was a 6th century Irish Bishop who later became a saint. He built a chapel on the island (the lighthouse keepers called it the “dog kennel” due to its size which possibly wasn’t great karma) and for centuries shepherds used to bring sheep to graze nearby but refused to sleep over due to reported haunty spirits.

Nobody has lived on the Flannen Islands since 1971, when the lighthouse became automated. I wonder if Moore stayed behind to operate the place or if he suffered a debilitating case of the willies and retired.

As for my plan to write a mystery, well, it’s been done and done again as far as Eilean Mor is concerned. The disappearances were included in episodes of Dr. Who, Genesis wrote an entire freaking song about it and there’s even a 2018 movie called The Vanishing with Gerard Butler.

So I might write a mystery about Liam’s story at Eilean Glas instead. A psychological thriller with lots of family drama and insanity from being trapped in a remote location with scarce resources, but also there is a sea monster and the ghost of a crazy saint and a chapel with a dog in it.

After story time at the lighthouse (Scots truly are natural storytellers), half of us headed back to the van and the rest completed the loop hike along the coast – the bog factor was off the charts which reminded Liam about that one time he had to pull a guest out of a sucking bog that was basically Scottish quicksand. We also happened upon the skeletal remains of a sheep. Don’t worry, it was all fine. As was the remarkable scenery. The red you see is water-logged sphagnum moss. More about that later.

Liam was a master at identifying plants and mushrooms along the trail, and on this hike he showed us some white spidery reindeer moss (which is actually a lichen). Pro-tip: if you ever find yourself walking for days across a frozen Norwegian tundra whilst on a secret mission to stop Hitler from gaining access to heavy water (a byproduct of fertilizer production that could be used to develop nuclear weapons), you must locate a reindeer. Of course, you need to kill the reindeer (sorry) for the meat and maybe to crawl inside the carcass for warmth, but also you can eat the reindeer moss in their stomachs as it is partially digested and thus more palatable for humans – and happens to be a vital source of vitamin C.

It is perhaps understatement to say that a mind-boggling set of circumstances had to exist to prevent Germany from developing and deploying a nuclear weapon before we did, and the seemingly innocuous hero known as reindeer moss could have been one of them.

Speaking of Nazis and nuclear weapons, I’ll just take a moment to drop a plug for Oppenheimer and this Oscar-worthy brilliant performance.

The singular Cillian Murphy

We ended our rather splendid, if water-logged day with a tour of Harris Distillery, the first (legal, ahem) distillery in Harris. It was opened and commenced production in 2015. Considering how long it takes to make and release whisky, the distillery did an excellent marketing job during what ended up being an eight-year interim period that included COVID. The BBC produced a documentary about their story, they held local and virtual ceilidhs and turned the distillery into a community gathering space. By 2017, the distillery had welcomed 144,000 visitors, including Prince Charles.

Also, like many Scottish distilleries, Harris makes a gin which provided income to hold them over since whipping up gin is a snap. While Botanist is probably the most well-known artisanal whisky-distillery crafted Scottish gin in the States, made by Bruichladdich on Islay, the behemoths, Hendrick’s, Gordon’s and Tanqueray – are also made in Scotland. The Harris gin is very, very tasty and was a smashing success from the jump. Its botanical of note is local sugar kelp seaweed (two tons collected by 2017) along with juniper, coriander, angelica root and cassia bark. It’s sold in a beautiful and distinctive ridged blue tinged bottle which won a Gold Award at the World Gin Awards in 2021 and is used as a table water bottle everywhere you look.

In yet another fun coincidence – Harris at last released its first whisky while we were there, the Hearach, which is Gaelic for a resident of Harris. And let me tell you, the entire island was utterly and completely stoked. We didn’t go anywhere the Hearach wasn’t offered up with a tinge of pride and excitement. The restaurant we had dinner on our final night, Flavour, which features just one seating, a tasting menu and an open kitchen, included the whisky in every single course and someone from the distillery was there to chat with us. The distillery has had a positive impact on the island economy, both in terms of tourism and its employment of local young people. It was created from the ground up as an integrated member of the Harris community. You love to see it, and you can definitely feel it.

The whisky is good, selling like hotcakes (I love that the first whisky release was 1,916 bottles, one for each resident of Harris), and the tour was fascinating. Every aspect of the distillery, the design, the materials, all of it – was carefully thought out and is related to Harris and its people. Many family members are involved with the company – and many women. And it’s the first distillery in my experience where they offer guests a taste of “pure spirit,” the clear liquid you see in the spirit safe – baby whisky before it’s casked and aged. Let me just say the alcohol content is hiiiigh.

Are we tired of fabulous coincidences? No? Well – as it turns out the world-renowned, gorgeous and utterly charming Hebridean Baker happened to be at the distillery that day (actually Liam rearranged our schedule to accommodate this) signing his new cookbook, his third, which hasn’t yet been released in the States. His name is Coinneach MacLeod (told you) and he had recently returned from a tour of the States and is heading out again next year. Two of my travel companions met him recently at the Grandfather Mountain Highland Games in North Carolina, and he was genuinely delighted to see them again. His cookbooks are not only filled with scrumptious recipes with a Scottish flair, but lots of stories and tales, many wonderful photographs of the Hebrides, its residents, his west highland terrier Sonnach and his partner Peter.

The following day was probably my favorite, Hebridean Baker notwithstanding, mostly because it was like a fantasy novel crossed with a Disney film, where our intrepid group were the only souls in existence – so maybe also a dash of post-apocalyptic adventure. We drove to one of the most well-known beaches on the west coast of Harris called Hùisinis, where a person could easily spend the entire day staring out to sea and pondering life’s big questions.

And we happened to run into some highland cattle on the drive there. These iconic beasts make tourists completely lose their minds. By this point I’ve seen a fair few of these lovely creatures during my travels but I will never fail to pull over when I come across a sacred Heilan Coo Gathering. In defense of tourists (which I rarely do) Liam, born and raised in Scotland, also loves them and kept remarking on their staggeringly high cuteness level. Coos are also extremely friendly and curious and seem to know they are being photographed because I swear they pose. They do not turn tail and skedaddle like sheep or other types of cattle. They must realize that they are a four-legged embodiment of Scotland and accept their lot with grace.

Yes, on an intellectual level, I know they are just cows.

And so after taking in the sands of Hùisinis our merry band of walkers headed up a cliff over the sea. We had a view of Scarp, a now uninhabited island that of course has an interesting and quirky history, this being Scotland and all. In the late 19th century the four square mile island boasted 213 residents. Fun fact, it was one of several Scottish islands where all the men gathered every morning in a so-called ‘parliament,’ to agree upon the work to be done that day. Sometimes these meetings could last several hours and this provides yet another example of why women should be in charge. The last family standing, Mr. and Mrs. Angus MacInnes and their two sons, left in 1971 on a boat. They landed at Hùisinis, their cattle swimming behind them. I like to think that they were highland cows.

Below is an undated photo of hardy Scarpians.

The remaining residents were Andrew Miller Mundy and his school friend Andrew Cox, who had moved to the island earlier that same year with his wife and baby. Several weeks after the MacInnes family left, a huge storm cut off the island and provisions ran low. Even though Scarp is only half a mile from Harris a storm can whip through that strait like nobody’s business, rendering it unnavigable due to swell and current. Mundy, in London at the time, sent a helicopter to rescue his girlfriend (romantic), a model who he later married (also romantic). And thus Scarp became a deserted island.

A handful of picturesque holiday homes remain that you’ll see in a minute, keeping in mind that they are only accessible via sea kayak. The island is owned by American musicologist Andrew Burr Bakewell, the founder of Harris Distillery. And I should see if he’s single.

I found a recent expired listing for a home on Scarp called The Primrose Cottage. A few tidbits: “There is no doubt the property requires significant upgrading,” and “we understand” the building had a new roof installed six years ago. There’s no septic, spring water is “available year-round” (bonus) and electricity is provided by a generator, although thankfully there is internet so what more do you need. The listing ends with “Brace yourself, Scarp is not for the faint-hearted.” There’s a restriction against using the property for “tourism/holidaymakers.” The realtors were accepting offers over £100,000. I wonder if it sold.

Liam also told us about another singular event for which Scarp is reknowned. In 1934 it became the setting of an exciting, if dubious, trial of the Western Isles Rocket Post (I swear). German scientist Gerhard Zucker, apparently filled with a desire to “bring the world together” via a postal-delivery system tried to send a literal rocket packed with 4,000 letters (some addressed to the King) over to Harris.

The mission failed with a dull explosion and a puff of smoke with smoldering letters scattered everywhere.

The day the rocket was launched, 28 July 1934, became known as Latha na Rocait. There’s a film about the whole affair named The Rocket Post that won the grand prize at the Stony Brook Film Festival. A play by the same name was produced in 2017 by the National Theatre of Scotland. The publicity materials state that it’s “part-play, part-gig and part-hoedown,” and is “full of humour, heart and hope for the future, it’s a tale of miscommunication, vaulting ambition and the joyous discoveries that can happen when everything goes wrong.” Indeed.

So what ever happened to Gerhard? Online sources suggest that he was deported back to Germany for postal fraud which is sort of hilarious, only to be detained by the German government for having cooperated with the British, which is more on the perilous side. Apparently Gerhard had pitched his rocket mail idea to the Germans before his Hebridean experiment. He joined the Luftwaffe, was badly wounded in 1944, and ended up working as a furniture dealer in West Germany and thus his wish to bring the world together ultimately fizzled out just like his rocket.

The Strait of Scarp, or Caolas an Scarp
Magic mushroom
Sheepie butts

So, after our beautiful cliffside walk, we dropped down to another impossibly white beach, Tràigh Mheilein, only accessible via this walk. Spectacularly beautiful, deserted, and seemingly stretching on into forever. Gorgeous multi-colored rounded stones were everywhere, evidence of the complicated geographical history of the island. The weather changed approximately five million times as we meandered down the beach. Rain pants off, rain pants on, sand everywhere. Rainbows, dark clouds, blue sky, wind, no wind. The beach was framed by the Strait of Scarp with distant Atlantic views on one side and green rocky hills on the other. The water constantly changed color and character along with the weather. A few quintessentially Hebridean houses sat like lonely sentinels across the water on Scarp.

After a hasty picnic lunch in a sheltered area behind some rocks, we turned away from the water and climbed up onto a ledge where a huge expanse of bright green stretched out before us. It was like stepping through a portal into another world. There was no trail per se, we just traversed its expanse like we were in the Sound of freaking Music, only with the ocean behind us and below and mountains and lochs ahead. Each of us exclaimed something along the lines of holy crap how is this a place that exists. The well-traveled Liam shared that it was his favorite spot, maybe in the world.

Could only convince one of our crew to do the traditional model pose with me.
Liam in his favorite place.

We walked along this loch, marveling at the lonely white house on the other side (a deer stalking cottage leased by a nearby estate) when suddenly a green field studded with white rocks opened before us – and hundreds of bunnies scampered in a flurry, disappearing down into their warrens. It was – ridiculously magical. Of course I couldn’t snap a photo in time, but they were just here:

We walked a bit farther and then spotted a huge herd of red deer up on the ridge – and they kept a steady eye on us as we climbed up toward them, finally dispersing as we grew too close.

The views back over the loch and bunnyville were fab.

As we crested the ridge and headed back to the sea a juvenile sea eagle soared overhead, tracing giant, graceful circles in the sky. While commonly referred to sea eagles, they are officially called white tailed eagles. They boast a seven foot wing span and are the largest bird of prey in UK. They almost became extinct in early 20th century, mostly due to death-by-landowner. These were wealthy owners of vast estates who were protecting their game birds, which they keep stocked for shooting parties of hunter types who have paid massive sums for the experience. I mean seriously this is not at all vital or even interesting and why is this even a debate. Anyway thanks to modern conservation efforts and breeding programs in Scotland and England, the sea eagles have been making a comeback. Unfortunately they remain endangered as gamekeepers who work on these aforementioned estates are still poisoning them. In response, the Scottish government has pulled shooting licenses in the hope that this would reduce these crimes. Unfortunately cases are hard to prove unless one finds the bird and runs a tox screen within a certain period of time and can pinpoint the culprits. Surely, the majestic sea eagles must prevail over such waste and stupidity.

A few snaps from our walk down the ridge:

We had a lovely afternoon tea on Hùisinis beach before hopping back in the van. As we drove away we passed the coos again and Liam obligingly stopped in the middle of the road so we could bid them a fond adieu. One of them walked over to my window in greeting, politely requesting a head scratch, which I gladly obliged. His/her horns banged against the side of the van, so apologies to Wilderness Scotland.

We finished our day by hiking down Glen Meavaig, a wildlife refuge featuring the North Harris Eagle Observatory, built to provide a sheltered spot for viewing a resident nesting pair of golden eagles. Sadly we did not see them. Apparently the Universe felt that we had seen enough magical creatures for one day.

I’ll leave you with a very cool fact about North Harris. It was purchased by the community in 2003, and its 25,900 acres make up one of the largest community owned estates in Scotland. The North Harris Trust, which manages the land on behalf of the community, has an open membership to all residents and is run by a board of locally elected volunteer directors. Very cool.

The Last Post: Peat, Standing Stones, Snow, Whisky and Back to Skye

Callanais Stones, Isle of Lewis

Our last full day in the Outer Hebrides dawned with a bittersweet tinge. Wind-swept, isolated and bewitching Harris had started to seep into my bones and I felt strangely reluctant to leave. We had one more walk before us, followed by a drive down the Golden Road and a fancy farewell dinner.

We headed to the southwestern corner of Harris, our destination an uninhabited peninsula connected to the rest of the island via a sandy machair in between two bays. A machair (pronounced “mach’ – like loch – er”) is fertile, well-drained grassland found in Scotland and Ireland which is formed by sand being blown over peat. It creates a unique habitat with diverse bird life and blankets of meadow flowers in early summer. However, with winter approaching, the flowers and birdies were long gone.

A double rainbow arched over the road on our drive there.

We parked the van next to a charming and quirky cafe snuggled in the middle of nowhere called Temple Harris, featuring a spectacular array of pastries and killer views over a sandy bay ringed with hills. We strolled down a road toward the westernmost summit of Harris and our climb of the day, Ceopabhal (pronounced Chaipaval – p.s., sorry for all these pronunciation tips but I want you to be the hit of your next cocktail party).

We walked across the machair in capriciously changing weather and made our way through a herd of colorful shaggy cows that appeared to be Highland Cattle/Belted Galloway crosses, which I am totally here for. Fighting our way through a sudden gusty squall, we crested a hill and Traig na Cleavag magically came into view, yet another pristine and deserted Harris beach. This one was guarded by an ancient sentinel – a ruined medieval chapel known as Rubh’ an Teampaill aka Northton Temple. It was built on the site where an Iron Age broch once stood, on land which has been continuously occupied since the Mesolithic era (as this particular era often comes up at cocktail parties, along with Gaelic pronunciation opportunities, a wee reminder this was 10,000 to 8,000 BCE, so very much olden times, or dare I say, days of yore).

Ceopabhal loomed over us for the entirety of our walk, and I eyed the hill with a slight amount of trepidation, mostly because I made the mistake of reading about it in advance on the Walkhighlands website (the bible of Scottish hillwalking).

The climb featured a 1,200 foot elevation gain over 6/10 of a mile. This is indisputably a bit on the steepish side, in fact Walkhighlands mentioned in passing that a “great amount of effort” was necessary to reach its summit. Also Liam made us stop and eat a protein bar just before the steep bit for “fortification.” Yikes. So once again the ascent was trail-free – we just zig-zagged our way up through clumps of heather. My main pro tip would be to make sure you lean forward into the hill. At least it was so rainy and windy that trying not to get blown off the trail to our deaths (only slightly exaggerating) served as an excellent distraction from the aggressive angle of the climb.

At the summit (yay!), the views were 360 degrees (largely into fantastic storms, but you could see the mountains of Skye). The wind had truly become a biblical sort of tempest, known in these parts as “blowing a hoolie,” although I did valiantly manage a few snaps and a cairn photo.

We walked to the lee side of the hill, mercifully sheltered from the hoolie, and sat in some soft comfy moss to enjoy a picnic looking out over a gorgeous bay.

The fine folks at Walkhighlands.com recommended retracing one’s steps back down the hill. My knees were entirely dreading this prospect because going up a steep slope is one thing, going down (while being blown about by a hoolie) is an entirely different situation. This advice was based on their view that walking down the hill on its lee side would take one through “deep heather” and thus should be avoided. Mercifully, Liam had other ideas.  We indeed took the more gradual route toward the bay, winding our way through heather and floating across fluffy, deep mounds of sweet, sweet sphagnum moss. Let me tell you it was delightful. Imagine traipsing down a hill on living, breathing sponges of memory foam. That’s what it was like. I put my hiking sticks away.

Speaking of moss, you can’t go to Scotland without considering peat. No seriously. Peat is formed from plant material throughout the ages that does not fully decompose, and sphagnum moss is one of its main ingredients.  Peatlands cover about 20% of Scotland and yet 80% has been degraded over time. It has been hacked away and drained since the 1800s to make room for agriculture. For centuries it has also been cut, dried, and used in fireplaces for heating homes. It still is. 

Peat harvesting on Harris.

Peatlands are among the most carbon-rich ecosystems on Earth and have a net cooling effect on climate.  Healthy peatlands can also reduce flood risk by slowing the flow of water from the uplands. If you hold a small handful of sphagnum moss and give it a squeeze, enough water will run out to fill a juice glass. Without peat, one is left with completely nonabsorbent bedrock which isn’t great in a country where it is usually raining. Peatlands also promote biodiversity by providing vital habitat for birds, insects and plants. Peat bogs are sometimes referred to as the rainforests of the UK.

A few more cool things about peat. You may have seen an episode of the BBC mystery Shetland where a decades-old body was found perfectly preserved in a peat bog and wondered why.  (Fun fact: There have been only two murders in Shetland over the last 50 years, rather than the 1-2 murders per week as depicted in the show. This aside provides an excuse for a Douglas Henshall call out for a lot of reasons).

Doug Henshall as Jimmy Perez in Shetland.

The explanation for peat’s ability to preserve (ahem) organic matter is this. As a bog grows, and new peat replaces old peat, the older material underneath rots and releases humic acid, also known as bog acid, with pH levels similar to vinegar. Not to put too fine a point on it, but bog acid preserves human bodies in the same way fruit is preserved by pickling. And of course not just humans – a wooly mammoth was once discovered buried in peat that still had its fur and food in its mouth.

Peat also creates and stores iodine. The iodine causes sphagnum moss to look very yellow and even red when it’s waterlogged. This is why many Scottish rivers appear golden in color – it’s not tea, or (sadly) whisky – it’s iodine-laced runoff.  Also, iodine’s antiseptic properties mean that sphagnum moss acts as a water filtration system so in a pinch you can use water squeezed from moss for hydration – and even more interesting, it was used to pack wounds during wartime since it’s both sterile and absorbent.

Most crucially from a climate change perspective, Scotland’s peatlands store 16 million tonnes of carbon (one tonne is 9% larger than a metric ton) and possibly shouldn’t be released into the atmosphere at this particular juncture. Draining water away from peat bogs to support agriculture causes the peat to dry, resulting in the vegetation decomposing much faster – and the release of carbon. Similarly, burning peat has the potential to release hundreds of years of stored carbon back into the atmosphere. Ultimately it’s quite beneficial to have large land masses that actually capture and store carbon.

I know what you are thinking – what about (gulp) whisky? Much of Scotland’s whisky is made from sprouted barley that has been dried by peat fire. It imparts a lovely campfire vibe to the golden liquid which causes people to either fall in love or cough with watering eyes and an alarmed expression. An iconic flavor either way, especially with Islay whiskies. As it turns out, whisky accounts for only about 1% of the UK’s peat use and as you can imagine defending the cultural significance of Scotland’s whisky-making tradition has been the central pillar of the industry’s case during the government’s development of its peat policy. Distilleries have pledged to make peat use more sustainable, although given its glacial pace of regeneration (1mm a year) this is a matter of debate. Distilleries are also experimenting with using different botanicals to light on fire for barley drying. Glenmorangie has just released a “Taste of the Forest” expression where they used pine, juniper, woodland moss and eucalyptus as fuel.

The good news is that peatland restoration and preservation is very very big in the UK and heroic efforts are underway to preserve and increase the resource – with some measurable success.  So fingers crossed.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

So let’s rejoin our merry band of descending walkers as they bounce down Ceopabhal on cushions of sphagnum moss. Before I share a few photos, after hearing all this peat talk from Liam we were sensitive about trodding on this precious resource, but he assured us that it quite literally bounces right back due to its buoyant density. Phew.

Upon our triumphant return to the van, we snagged a coffee and pastry (and a wee bit of shopping) at Temple Harris.  Everyone leaves their packs outside on the wooden bench without worry of misadventure.

Duly fortified, we struck off down the Golden Road, a spectacularly winding single track route along Harris’s rocky east coast. It’s widely assumed it got its name due to its eye-wateringly spendy construction cost.   After Liam cheerfully told us that if anyone was going to barf in the van, this would likely be the time, he offered distraction from the terrifying prospect of public motion sickness by launching into storytelling mode. He regaled us with mystical tales of dubious provenance featuring two dangerous and wily Scottish creatures.

First on the agenda – kelpies. Typically residing in and lurking about black lochs, they take the form of a horse, appearing to unwary humans as being a helpful sort of creature. They entice travelers to ride them over the loch, seemingly a more expeditious route than walking around them. It’s a trap! Once a person mounts the horse, it gallops to the deepest end of the loch, dragging its hapless rider below the water to their death and, ultimately, consumption (yikes). This legend was used to keep children away from lochs and also provided therapy fodder for later in life.

You may have seen this gorgeous sculpture by Andy Scott. The Kelpies were installed in 2013 near Falkirk and are a ginormous 98 feet high. It’s beautifully lit at night, and even if you don’t have time to stop, the giant kelpies loom over the M9 between Edinburgh and Stirling.

Next we turned to tales of the more benign selkies. They are also water-dwelling shapeshifters, but transform between seal and human by shedding and replacing their skin. As humans, selkies are incredibly attractive, graceful, kind natured and (avert your eyes) seductive, and so humans tend to fall desperately in love with them.  Selkies have also been tricked into marrying humans, usually by a nefarious person who steals and hides their seal skin, preventing them from returning to the sea. Not cool. Selkies are known for their benevolence, saving the lives of children or fishermen who have fallen into the sea.

There you have it. Keep up your guard if you visit Scotland – as these mythical beings pose more danger than any other resident creatures other than – dreaded midges.

We took a break from the Golden Road at Clo Mor, the charming Harris Tweed Exhibition. I will admit to you that prior to my visit to Harris, I had presumed that Harris tweed, since it’s pretty ubiquitous, was mass-produced, probably in China. Luckily I didn’t say that out loud to anyone. In actual fact, to qualify as Harris tweed, the textile must be “handwoven by the islanders at their homes in the Outer Hebrides, finished in the Outer Hebrides, and made from pure virgin wool dyed and spun in the Outer Hebrides,” according to an actual Act of Parliament.  Approximately 400 islanders were working in this industry as of late 2017, and you can visit them in their home, see their looms and watch them work. Consider my eyes opened.

We next stopped at Hebrides People Visitors Center in Northton, a genealogical resource for folks researching their ancestry that tells the history of the people and landscapes of Harris and the Western Isles. Our last stop on the Golden Road was St. Clemens, a medieval church founded by Alasdair MacLeod, 8th chief of Clan MacLeod. He died in 1547, and his tomb is in the church, along with a passle of other ancient MacLeods.  One wonders where the 1st – 7th MacLeod clan chiefs are buried.

My favorite peeps – sisters Victoria and Margaret

Our day ended in grand style with dinner at Flavour, an intimate restaurant on Harris with one seating and a chef, Chris Loye, who talked us through every beautiful and scrumptious dish on his tasting menu.  That night each dish incorporated, with pride, the newly released Heurach whisky from Harris Distillery. A woman from the distillery lovingly shared its story at the conclusion of our meal. She poured everyone a complimentary dram, clocking with a wry smile that I had been accidentally drinking a Talisker (from Skye).  Dang. As it turns out, she had been sitting at the table next to us with a couple who were right out of central casting for a show about a boring and very very rich English couple with plummy accents and unfortunate and ostentatious sartorial taste. I only wish I had been able to photograph the man’s pointy and aggressively shiny brown shoes.   We decided he was probably an investor in the distillery and so may be forgiven for his wardrobe choices.

Chris telling us All The Things about each course.  He and his wife spent four years on the road traveling to more than 30 countries learning about food. Back in Scotland, they started with a pop-up restaurant in their home and catering private dinners, finally securing a lease for this restaurant from the North Harris Trust. They built it during the pandemic and it opened in 2021. Now they are written up all over the place. They have Michelin dreams and I wouldn’t doubt it for a second.
The fabulous kitchen staff and obviously the dude busting me on the left is the English guy. Note the tight tight tight shirt which isn’t doing him any favors and I am terrible.

My friends, we have finally arrived on the last day of our fabulous Wilderness Scotland trip. We set off toward Stornaway, on Lewis, to catch the ferry to Ullapool on the mainland.  On our way we stopped at, in my humble opinion, the most magnificent stone circle in a country chocked full of them, the Calanais (Callanish) Stones.  Yes, yes, yes, replicas were made of these stones and then installed on the mainland at the fictitious site of Craig Na Dun for Outlander. Needless to say, they are so much more than that. Our little merry group had them to ourselves and they did not disappoint.

The stones are installed in the shape of a cross with an inner circle. They were erected 5,000 years ago and predate Stonehenge. It is thought that they were an important place of ritual activity for at least 2,000 years and possibly a kind of astronomical observatory.  They are incredibly photogenic, even in the (again) driving rain and wind.

Our last official Outer Hebrides site was Dun Carloway Broch, one of the best preserved brochs in Scotland. These mysterious Iron Age monuments exist nowhere else but here. While these circular structures are as symbolic a feature as any in the highlands, their purpose remains unknown, although it is thought that they were residential structures for fancy people.

On the ferry back to the mainland, as we sailed through calm waters surrounded by hills on various land masses, Jacq, daughter of Margaret and niece of Victoria and awesome human being, turned to me and said incredulously, “There are mountains everywhere here.” I have told so many people about that comment because – I mean it’s true, yes there are. And that is one of the crazy unique Scotland things that for some reason I had never articulated. It doesn’t matter if you are on an island, in the middle of the mainland or on a ferry – there are indeed mountains everywhere. And as a person who needs mountains – that is a plus.

As all things do, the tour at last came to an end and we all bid a fond farewell in Inverness. I snagged dinner at Hootenanny’s, listening to some live music, and spent the night in my favorite B&B in Inverness, Castleview Guest House, run by the wonderful Eleanor and her 14 year old Jack Russell, Mia. I found the place back in 2018 because Rick Steves recommended it, and Eleanor said on his visit years ago he was most enamored of her hand-written, nearly illegible guest reservation book.

Sweet Mia

I know this sounds insane but the next day I rented a car and drove back to Skye. It’s actually not that far and Skye is Skye, so maybe not insane but only slightly eccentric. I stopped at Glen Affric, another splendid nature reserve on the mainland. And, best of all, there was snow on them thar hills.

Glen Affric, along with many other reserves I had visited over the past few weeks, is one of rewilding zones of Scotland. This restoration and conservation effort had become rather an unintended but very much appreciated mantra of my trip and thankfully is a government priority. Trees and other vegetation are planted in these areas with the goal of creating a landscape that more closely resembles the Scotland of thousands of years ago, which is not the bare hills of the highlands that we are accustomed to seeing, but rather a more forested landscape providing a more diverse habitat for a greater variety of flora and fauna. For example, trees are often planted along rivers to provide shade and cool the water so salmon can thrive.

Some in the countryside advocate passionately for rewilding, others see it as an existential threat to their culture, history, and way of life. Farmers, deer stalkers, ghillies and gamekeepers are quite anxious about the impact these plans will have on their jobs. For example, Scotland is teeming with too many deer which denude the landscape – contributing to the problem – by eating foliage from the roots (as opposed to sheep whose style is more like a lawnmower) yet efforts to cull the herd have run into resistance from landowners and staff whose income is wedded to the deer stalking business.

Be that as it may, rewilding efforts are grounded in the belief that land is not primarily for generating income from sporting activities, forestry or commercial agriculture, it’s for, you know, life writ large. Creating, nurturing and protecting wild land produces the oxygen and the biodiversity we need to survive and offers solace and inspiration for our imaginations and our souls. So there.

Returning to our beautiful drive back to Skye, there was also a sprinkling of snow on the peaks surrounding Glen Shiel. No matter how old I get, there is always something magical about the first snow of the year.

Once over the Skye Bridge, I drove through Glen Sligichan, this time in gorgeous weather and so stopped for a photo of the wily Black and Red Cuillins, since as you’ll remember they were shrouded in mist and dreich the week before.

Full circle: a hooded crow on the car once again, this time in better conditions.

In Skye, I stayed in Uig, where we also stayed during the Wilderness Scotland trip, which I swear I didn’t realize in advance. I knew we were staying somewhere on Skye but no idea where. Crazy.  Clearly meant to be, yeah? Anyway, I stayed at a fabulous B&B, Abhaig House, run by an even more fabulous couple, Viv and Steve, who brought me a piece of a home-baked cake every single day. The view from my room was unbelievable, and I arrived to a charcuterie board with fresh salmon prepared by my hosts for a most delectable dinner, complete with a jaw-dropping sunset view.

The next morning I woke up early and drove just a few minutes to one of Skye’s honeypots, the Fairy Glen. It’s usually crawling with ugh tourists but we are now in late October, and I arrived at sunrise so it was mine all mine.  Just a crazy beautiful and singular area on the backside of the Quiraing. Geology, my friend. Geology. I mean what IS this place.

After my little walk, a delightful breakfast at Abhaig.

I then drove southwest to Glenbrittle beach, where I thought I’d head partway up the hike to Coire Laggan in the Black Cuillins. I knew I didn’t have enough time to do the entire walk, sadly. I kept going a little bit further and a little bit further still – just to that ridge there, then I’ll turn around, oh wait there’s another little bit…..  And lo there came a time when I needed to pull slightly off the trail to drop trou and do a wee pee – and as looked up from my undignified squat toward the Cuillin ridge, to my horror descending walkers appeared in the distance WHO PROBABLY SAW ME and so I took that as my sign and scarpered back down to the car in giggly horror.

The black sands of Glenbrittle Beach

The reason I didn’t have enough time is because I had booked a reservation at the chef’s kitchen table at the renowned Three Chimneys restaurant, where I had enjoyed a wonderful meal with Danielle the previous spring. It was super fun sitting in the kitchen and the only other guests were a very blonde and adorable couple from London on their honeymoon. Both lawyers! Both liberal!  Brexit is terrible! Trump is terrible! Yay! A chef’s table can be risky, god knows, but we hit the jackpot and had a lively and interesting conversation for the entire meal. They were staying in the lovely rooms at the Three Chimneys, whereas I had a half hour drive back across Skye on single track roads in the pitch dark with silly sheepies snoozing like RIGHT there on the edge of the road like fuzzy doofuses.  But seriously – what a great night.

The next day I caught the ferry to Raasay, a small island with 192 denizens just to the east of Skye.  It’s a very short and very beautiful ferry ride.

When we disembarked I set off down a crumbly wee road toward a short hike that looked pretty cool. I did not see another car or another person.

There was a tiny parking area at the end of the road, thus:

I embarked on yet another gobsmackingly gorgeous coastal hike to the ruins of Hallaig, a clearance village, one of several cleared communities on Raasay, where the residents were forcibly evicted or encouraged to move to make way for sheep grazing on the island in the 1800s.  There’s a monument along the trail that includes a poem about the ruins called “Hallaig,”by Sorley Maclean.

Back through the gloaming to Hallaig

Through the vivid speechless air,

Pouring down the steep slopes,

Their laughter misting my ear

And their beauty a glaze on my heart.

Then as the kyles go dim

And the sun sets behind Dun Cana

Love’s loaded gun will take aim.

A few photos of the ruins.

Could not resist a few smiley selfies in that sad and somber place because good god IT WAS SUNNY.

I think this walk resulted in some of the most incredible photos from my entire trip – the light, the location, the mountains, the ocean.

As you can see, this was another walk where I didn’t see another human being, which is absolutely my preference to be honest. My mom asked me to write about what it was like to hike alone in remote areas in a foreign country.  The answer is that it’s awesome and makes me blissfully happy and at peace.  An adventure in the best possible way because the risk level is very, very low and yet you are out in the wild! On the moors! Gazing across oceans and up mountains!  So many wild coos and sheepies! And I’m not naive, I know full well that folks have often found themselves in trouble hiking in the UK, involving mountain rescue teams, helicopter evacs, injury and even death. I don’t know what to say except that the thought never crosses my mind that something bad might happen because a) I’m in Scotland and b) there’s so much joyful zen in my brain. I’m so completely present in the moment as they say, that all thoughts of worry have nowhere to grab hold. For what it’s worth, my mom doesn’t worry about me either, which is quite literally unheard of. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I sat in the car for a few minutes enjoying the bag lunch of a fresh salmon salad Viv and Steve prepared, and then started the short drive back toward the ferry so I’d make it to Raasay Distillery in time for my tour.  Along the way I came upon a Scottish traffic jam, but not to worry, I made it.

Opened in 2017, Raasay released its first whisky in 2020. The 2022 Scottish Whisky Awards named Rassay Distillery of the Year, and it’s a beautiful facility with drop-dead views. They released their first whisky in 2021 and their single malt combines six signature casks – maturing peated and unpeated spirit separately in ex-rye whisky, virgin Chinkapin oak and Bordeaux red wine casks. The first of this cask combination in Scotch whisky history. The exact proportions are, of course, top secret.

A lovely, sophisticated English woman with a dry wit was our tour guide. She had retired to Raasay a few years prior with her French husband and was obviously enjoying her retirement gig at the distillery. I talked with her afterward about what it was like, and how her Parisien husband was enjoying living on a remote barely populated island in the Hebrides. I shared that I was feeling a similar pull toward Scotland in general.  She immediately engaged an eye-lock and encouraged me to start doing something – taking actual measurable steps toward this goal. I don’t know, I got the tingles. Message received.

So the Raasay “Hebridean” is a very very good whisky and I fell in love with the distillery and with Raasay itself. As I had enough space in my luggage to bring one bottle home, I decided this would be The Chosen One. I did a quick search on my phone – without my glasses – to make sure you couldn’t buy Raasay in Oregon. Well. When I got home I looked it up again and sure enough, found that you could acquire a bottle in two local liquor stores.  Not only that but one of the liquor stores carried bottles of the single cask versions from the pleated bordeaux and rye casks. Good god. Coals to Newcastle. In retrospect, it’s almost a certainty that I misspelled Raasay as I was standing in line at the distillery on my phone with no glasses. I mean, there are a lot of “a’s” in fairness.

The view from Raasay Distillery. Literally. I can’t even.

The ferry back to Skye.

My car and I alighted from the ferry and drove to Portree where I had booked a table at Dulse & Brose, a lovely restaurant of past acquaintance.  I was there a bit early and so wandered around Portree seeking a pub.  The thing about shoulder season is that places are sometimes closed for the winter – rude! I finally walked along Quay Street, where the lovely painted buildings are, and found a teensy weensy pub inside the Pier Hotel. (The baby blue building below).

I sat at the bar and had a dram, eavesdropping on a hilarious conversation between a couple of older Scottish men with a fisherman vibe and a small family group from, of all places, Texas. The Texans were trying to explain to the Scots why the phrase, “bless your heart,” (which the Scots had never before heard) could, and often did, actually have a negative connotation. It’s one of those southern idioms that sound polite but are really a highly judgmental put-down. The Scots literally could not understand why we’d take something that sounded like a blessing and turn it into a smug slam.  The other conversation I enjoyed was between the bartender and his girlfriend about how amazing Peaky Blinders was.  Speaking of which,

Tommy Fookin’ Shelby makes the blog.

And now I think it’s high time to wrap this installment of The Wee Dram. My last full day had finally arrived, so I bid a sad farewell to Viv and Steve and the cute pups they were dog-sitting.

I then had the dumb idea of stopping by the Old Man of Storr on a gorgeous sunny day at 10:30, thinking I could just bound up the trail of the last Skye honeypot I hadn’t yet done. It was a sh*tshow. Could not believe the huge parking lot packed to the gills with humanity. Nooooooo.  No thanks. KThxBai. Next time. I pulled off the road across from the bulging parking lot, grabbed a coffee and had a final wee look across to the mainland where I was headed – and said goodbye to Skye for the fourth time in my life. I also said see ya next year.

I drove through a bluebird day back to Inverness. It was honestly sort of weird seeing Scotland during a baldly sunny day. It didn’t look like itself.

My last night in Inverness I once again stayed with Eleanor and Mia, enjoying a lovely supper at the Mustard Seed. It was a gorgeous final night of my nearly month-long trip.

So, dear friend, thank you for reading this blog, for being patient with my many diversions down historical, geological, ecological, cultural, Gaelic pronunciation and whisky-related rabbit holes.  I’ll just end by saying that I’m headed back next May to Glencoe (have never missed), the Pentland Hills south of Edinburgh, and……(drum roll) Shetland. And next fall I’m returning with my pal Trish, mostly to visit Arran, Islay and Jura, since our last trip we were stymied by weather, and then back to Skye where I will probably feel drawn to the ferry to sail to the Outer Hebrides again, maybe this time to the Uists.

Because why would I go anywhere else.

Ambling Through The Lake District – Windermere

Hiya, it’s been a while and you might be wondering what the heck happened after London. Okay so here’s the deal. I stumbled upon the Tardis (yes that one) stashed in a field at the end of a double rainbow, took this photo as proof using someone else’s watermark (long story), and have been traveling through time and trying not to alter history which is quite frankly exhausting and I might have changed a few things accidentally but you’ll never know what they are (it’s all fine). I eventually figured out how to return to this current (dumb) time, and so I intend to write about the rest of our trip as if it just happened, or maybe hasn’t happened yet, or possibly happened a long time ago. This would all make sense if you understood time travel but sadly you do not and unfortunately I am not taking any questions.

And so, my patient friends, where were we? Ah yes – bidding farewell to beautiful London and heading off to our next adventure. We traveled northwest to England’s Lake District via the lovely British rail system which was, on our travel day, mercifully between strikes. We booked a five day self-guided hiking trip through InnTravel, a UK-based company I would highly recommend. Their communication throughout the booking and planning process was exemplary, very polite and unfailingly British – they used words like “whilst” in their emails which melted me into the floor.

The Lake District is beyond gorgeous. Native son William Wordsworth, who is buried in Grasmere, wrote, “You may leave the Lake District, but once you’ve been, it’ll never leave you,” which sounds pretty correct. Beatrix Potter described her beloved Lake District as “nearly as perfect a little place as I have ever lived in.” Her family visited the area when she was young and she fell in love, later purchasing a home she called Hill Top as well as tranches of farmland in order to save them from development. She left more than 4,000 acres to the National Trust when she died. The region was designated as a national park in 1951 and now is visited by millions of folks a year who yearn to amble amongst its fells (mountains/hills), tarns (small mountain lakes), meres (lakes that are shallow for their size) and only one official lake, Bassenthwaite Lake.

A fabulous and worthy undertaking, to set out every morning on a gorgeous walk through storied landscapes – over fells, around tarns, over rivers and through woods, with lots of picturesque villages, waterfalls and rainbows. Also so, so many adorable sheep and cows wandering around in the wild. Like many before us, including Beatrix Potter, we fell in love with the Lake District’s iconic Herdwick sheep, known as Herdies. Beatrix owned 1,000 of them and in fact was the first woman elected as President of the Herdwick Sheep Breeders Association.

Our weather was mixed throughout the week, with just one day of sustained rain so utterly drenching that it caused absolute waterproof failure (looking at you, Patagonia). Even so, the state of the weather didn’t impact our daily routine starting with a reasonable morning rise time, followed by full English breakfast, gorgeous 8-10 mile hike, mid-afternoon lager, dinner at the inn or a local pub – all punctuated by various wee drams and quite a bit of hilarity. Would seriously 10/10 recommend.

Our first hotel was the Merewood Country House in Windermere, and its big red leather chairs and gorgeous gardens welcomed us to the English countryside. After a few days in London I could feel the nearness of Scotland, and an unexpected but familiar encounter teased it beautifully. The hotel boasted a wee herd of black heilan coos, aka Highland Cattle. Yay!

Some lovely folks were staying at the Merewood, including one of our favorite couples of the trip. We first spotted the husband, a jolly-looking, well-dressed fellow, relaxing in the red leather chair room. He was likely in his late 70s with pale pink skin and thinning hair. Rather precariously overweight, he was a little tottery in his stride. He sat alone, happily enjoying his beer and reading the newspaper. His phone rang and he answered it with the charmingly delighted exclamation, “Darling!” As the conversation continued we realized it was his wife, who was just upstairs and had awoken from her nap. We could hear her equally delighted voice and gleaned that she had slept very well indeed and was quite refreshed. He retrieved her, making his way upstairs with a tottery stride. He escorted her back into the bar, and we saw that she was struggling with some ambulatory issues, walking very carefully with a cane. We saw this couple throughout our stay, and they were unfailingly sweet and solicitous with one another. The husband attended to his wife with such kindness it brought a tear to the eye. They were enjoying a lovely holiday and delighted in being together in a splendid hotel in a beautiful spot. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that they had been coming to the Lake District for decades.

Why we didn’t strike up a conversation I don’t know. We did not make that mistake again when encountering people along our journey. I will not soon forget them.

We awoke to gorgeous weather to mark our first day. To get our hiking legs under us, we walked through wall-lined hills to the lovely village of Ambleside where we stopped for a coffee, looked around a bit, and then headed toward our climb of Wansfell Pike. Beautiful sunlit views abounded.

Wansfell Pike was a bit of a climb and a rain squall dampened my waning enthusiasm on the way up but once we reached the summit, it was totally worth it. We were greeted with the first of many 360 degree views, and to celebrate we enjoyed the first of many wee summit drams. A friend who recently hiked the West Highland Way told us how vital it was to pack a flask of whisky to celebrate Hiking Milestones. How on earth had I never thought of this before? We adopted her technique with gusto, taking wee dram selfies across England and Scotland. Apologies in advance for what I expect will be a tedious stream of flask photography.

The path back to the hotel after a stunning inaugural day.

Our second day began with a lake cruise across Windermere – and for some added flair, just before boarding we were buzzed by a lake-skimming military aircraft. We learned that the Lake District is designated as a military low flying area, so it attracts planes from the RAF, Royal Navy, British Army and NATO to practice low altitude operational maneuvers. Paralyzed with the incongruity of it all, we forgot to grab our phones in time to snap the most amazing photo of our lives – even though mine was right there in my pocket for heavens sake.

Our walk eventually took us up Latterbarrow, which overlooked our destination of Hawkshead, another fairytale village and the home of the most famous relish in the world in their opinion. Hawkshead relish – aka “pickle” as in “cheese & pickle sandwiches” which sound terrible but are actually delicious. Along the way we came across the magical fly agaric mushroom, a harbinger of fall, and a herd of the iconic Herdswick sheep.

Lovely boat ride across Windermere

The fly agaric mushroom is famous, enchanting and toxic. While these red speckle-topped mushrooms are the home of faeries and magical creatures and provide nutrients to nearby trees, on the flip side they are highly hallucinogenic. As you’ll remember, Alice in Wonderland grew taller or shorter depending on what side of the mushroom she nibbled on, which makes one wonder about Lewis Carroll.

After our (completely innocent) sojourn with the mushrooms, we headed toward Latterbarrow, finding some signposts and vestiges of blooming heather along the way.

Views of the town of Hawkshead.
Celebrating our second summit.

On our way down the hill we came across our first herd of Herdies! They are quite large, and have gray woolly bodies, sweet comical faces, white heads and feet. We fell completely in love with them just as Beatrix had. This particular kind of sheep is pretty much only found in the Lake District – 95% of the breed resides there, wandering amongst the magical bucolic landscape along with the hill walkers.

Sound on for a little chuckle.

The end of our hike into Hawkshead was so fun – walking through fields, through kissing gates and climbing up and down stiles with varying degrees of grace.

Our reward – a gorgeous town, a fun pub, a lot of dogs and some crisps.

A warm welcome to the Queen indeed.
I’m rather in favor of the formerly known as.
I love pubs.

We arrived at our next hotel, The Coniston Inn, in time to see a beautiful sunset and have dinner in the hotel restaurant which was liberally festooned with wee doggies. You might hear me say a few more thousand times how lovely it is that dogs are generally allowed in restaurants in the UK. Surely a sign of an advanced civilization against which (perhaps) we never should have rebelled.

And to all a good night.

Caledonia Calls Again

You guys. After a mere three+ years I’m headed back to the bonnie bonnie banks, glens, cols, beinns, lochs, isles and waterways of Scotland. Last we met it was the fall of 2018 where you provided excellent company on my solo trip. In 2019 I decided to upgrade my house a bit, possibly sensing that I’d be spending quite a lot of time inside its walls in future. As 2020 loomed with its gigantic birthday, I told anyone who would listen that in celebration I’d be saying YES to All The Things. Planned a birthday trip to Paris and another Scotland hiking trip (this one). Yoga retreat in Sedona. Yes yes and yes. And then. Cancel, cancel and cancel, your silly plans matter not. We all lived through the last two years together, and there’s nothing you don’t already know. Enough said.

This trip won’t be solo, but with Danielle, a friend who has accompanied me on many Central Oregon hikes in the Cascades. We are both recovering lawyers, and I think met at a yoga studio years ago. There’s a photo of us in said studio on our backs with our ankles tucked behind our heads and our hands in namasté. Needless to say it’s hilarious and also entirely inappropriate for our purposes here today so I couldn’t possibly post it. Danielle is dating an actual Viking and I still harbor hopes of meeting a Scottish lad with a castle so we remain in men-in-kilts territory. This blog, and Scotland, will continue to abide.

As the trip is growing closer, I’m focusing mostly on driving for the first time in the UK (yikes), and looking forward to hiking in the Cairngorms, the Orkney Islands, Skye, Torridon and Glencoe – and traversing the North Coast 500. I also want to see as many puffins as possible. There will be castles, neolithic ruins, stone circles and Viking stuff. In fact there will be a distillery tour of Highland Park in Kirkwall, which includes a tasting of their “Vikings” series, with special edition, largely cask-strength drams named after Odin, Thor, Freya and Loki. To top things off, I had to postpone my trip home because my intended flight was unceremoniously cancelled, so will be in Inverness solo for an extra day (on my birthday as it happens). On that day a man named Andrew Grant McKenzie (you heard me) a historian who plays the bagpipes and worked at Culloden Battlefield for years will be squiring me on a tour somewhere, honestly it doesn’t really matter where. I believe the chances of him showing up in a kilt are very very high.

So thank you for joining me yet again to explore a wee country the size of South Carolina that somehow contains a vast Universe of history, hiking trails, dazzling terrain, culture, wildlife, wonderful food and very kind and welcoming residents with comforting accents. Scotland is basically Hermione’s bag in the form of a country.