Castles, Eastern Highlands, and the NorthCoast 500 (shhhh)

We bid a very sad farewell to our pals Kev and Kirsty in the Cairngorms and headed up the east coast, aiming for the Orkney Islands. We visited three castles along our way. Dornach Castle, which is now a 189 room hotel, was our lunch spot. It didn’t seem much like a castle any more, but it was a rare bluebird day, perfect for an outdoor lunch in the garden.

We then toured the fabulous Dunrobin Castle and Gardens, home to the Earls and Dukes of Sutherland throughout history. The earliest part of the castle was constructed in 1275. It was used as a naval hospital during World War I, and for a time, was a boys’ boarding school. The first Duke of Sutherland is sculpture-toppling notorious for his participation in the Highland Clearances, shipping off Scottish families in the late 18th century to make way for sheep since the cute fuzzy creatures made more money for wealthy landowners than crofters did.

Even so, Dunrobin Castle is gorgeous with spectacular architectural gardens overlooking the North Sea, and is known for its falconry. I took an embarrassing number of photos of the resident falcons and owls.

The indoor tour was quite something – so many rooms, so many paintings and photographs of Dukes, Duchesses, Earls, Kings and Queens. Check out the library – obviously the lion pair are a bridge too far on the decorating front.

As with all estate-type museums, there were explanatory placards throughout. My favorite was outside the “Seamstress Room.” Why? Because it’s also known as the “Haunted Room.” Why? Because in the 15th century the Earl of Sutherland captured a young woman from the Mackay Clan after a battle and locked her up in in the seamstress room which was next to the night nursery which seems like an extraneous detail but it was on the placard. Apparently he wanted to marry her but she refused him. Earl, my dude, you need to up your wooing game. But wait, there’s more. One night he found her trying to extricate herself by climbing down a rope of sheets and I’m honestly wondering whether she invented this particular escape technique. Ego instantly bruised to the bone, the Earl whipped out his sword and cut the sheet rope, causing her to fall to her death. So obviously she became a ghost, and someone needs to turn this tale into a country song immediately.

The Sutherland boys, I fear, are the worst.

My favorite destination on our drive was a castle near Wick that very nearly fell into the sea. Thankfully it is being restored, not to its former glory, but to a ruin that will decay no more, Castle Sinclair.

Much of our route for this trip is along the NorthCoast 500, invented in 2015 by The Tourism Project Board of the North Highland Initiative to attract tourists to the less visited and economically depressed northern climes. It’s essentially a 500 mile circular driving route that begins and ends in Inverness. It has become incredibly popular rather too quickly and the locals, while benefiting from some positive economic impact, are Not Stoked. Living in a tourist town myself, I sympathize.

A particular enmity is reserved for all the camper vans inhabited by tourists not sleeping in B&Bs and making their own meals. These RVs are rented in Inverness by folks who have no idea how to back them up, and they are simply too big for single-track pot-holed roads. The area has also seen a huge increase in motorcycle and car traffic (especially “fancy cars” complained a group of men ruefully shaking their heads over breakfast in a Scrabster cafe). People are unfamiliar with how to navigate one-lane roads with “passing places’ where one person or another can pull over. The influx has placed a strain on infrastructure in general, particularly, ahem the delicate, often seaside, sewage system. Understandably irritating for folks living in a remote area who suddenly are facing challenges living their lives as usual. One man complained, “The tourists will stop suddenly in the road because they’ve seen a Highland cow and want to take a picture.”

The route is also driven by people who go from attraction to attraction, stopping only for that Instagram moment and not really spending money or meaningfully interacting with the community. Here are a few examples.

The Eastern Highlands are gorgeous indeed and I apologize to everyone lucky enough to live there for stopping at a fair number of attractions listed in North Coast 500 brochures and snapping a photo. I can’t believe I am that person. At least Dougal is a small and not-fancy car.

For now, it’s time for our adventure in Orkney. We are officially here in Stromness and ready for three hikes and one day-long guided tour, all planned through Macs Adventure.

I’ll leave you with the Old Man of Hoy, which we’ll see tomorrow, lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, from land.